~Mr. Ed Fielderdale~ (AKA, Rubie)

That thing about Joey, while he maybe a good drummer yes that does not make him the best. Coming from a drummer?s point of view it's really what you look for in a drummer that makes them good. Perhaps one prefers more grooves in a drummer's playing then speed. Seriously if you like speed drumming that's great, but that just cause you?re fast that don't mean shit. Trust me I've been down the whole drumming as fast as you can route while keeping rhythm and its just way to damn repetitive. So Joey's good, but sadly every song I hear from him sounds exactly like the last one.

Sing about drugs as if you actually did them but never did. (ie Korn Ghetto Crack w/the wrong ingredients)

Also don't forget to purchase as many clothes from the Run DMC closet as you can.

Also wear masks and pretend like you never knew who Gwar was.

Also claim to have the most members ever but say you never heard of Ministry, NIN, Gwar, Pigface, ect.

Also buy a Korg Electribe and play any pattern under your music calling it the best gear out there.

Same goes for a Kaoss pad.

Take music like Clutch mix it w/Ministry and borrow from some industrial bands and claim you created a new genere (ie Korn). And get a uniformed magazine to also quote that.

Pretend you had a hard life, but you grew up in rich suburbs of California and the toughest time you had was arguing /your folks over borrowing the BMW (ie Korn)

make sure that in atleast 90% of your songs you drag out the word "I" so that it sounds like IeeeIeeeI (ie Godsmack)

Slow down any Metallica song and play it on thicker guage strings and over compressed drum kits (ie Godsmack)

Make up a new word to call your fans so that they feel special (ie Maggot)

Say if it wasn't for your fans none of this would be possible (they get what they deserve)

Use incoherent babble in your songs as much as possible and don't use words w/big pronounciations (you want your listener to actually be able to understand w/o attacking thier lowered mental state)

Always sing about a lover giving them no gender so that you are politically correct in not offending any sexual orientation.

Get involved w/as many non profit organizations as possible to pretend that you give a shit while adding more publicity for yourself. The more feminine and ball less the better.

Do at least a few free shows to pretend that you care about the ppl who made you a millionaire.

Always emphasize in atleast one magazine article how your music helped one kid through depression and it was the best meeting experience after a show (when in reality you run directly to your bus).

I can think of more but that might come later as I do not waste much time delving into the pathetic crap.

Sincerelly
Poor Looser from Michigan

As far as guitarists go, I have yet to hear a newer band with a guitarist who can even hold a candle to the older legends like Dimebag. Dimebag is one of the few metal guitarists who can be put in with the likeness of true masters like: John Petrucci (Dream Theater), Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, Michael Romeo (Symphony X) and lets not forget Mr. Van Halen.....point being nu-metal takes much less to play, and since their guitarists aren't capable of a good sounding solo, they add all weird sorts of distortion and tunings, and even resort to rapping in place of solos....nu-metal needs to die, PanterA and Slayer have to take back the now tainted name of metal!

Nobody gives a fuck what any one says. Or at least I don't and I'm shure slipknot could care less. People are going to say shit about music as long as they can speak. You might like a band out there that I think sucks and I might like a band you could think sucks. The point is who fucking cares. It's Music!!! Listen to what you want. If you like it thats cool. Personally I think slipknot is a good band. Bad ass guitar riffs and the drummer kicks ass. They put on a cool show as well. Who wants to see them just on stage playing without the crazy act. It makes the show worth watching. As for the other nu-metal bands... well some are good and some are just lame.

Some good nu-metal bands in my opinion are Ill Nino, downthesun, stone sour, chimaira, and otep. Some other bad ass bands are Amorphis, Acid Bath, Opeth, Lamb of God, Tool, MachineHead's (old stuff), Gorefest, Hypocrisy, Rammstien, Meshuggah, and even that new band Seether. All these bands play different types of music but I like them. I can't name them all so say what you will about the ones listed. Any one who plays guitar or likes metal should not talk shit about certain bands though. The bands that no one can fuck with include Metallica, Sepultura, and of couse Pantera. No band comes close to the originality and talent these bands have. Dimebag Darrell alone slaps the shit out of any guitarist in slipknot or any other nu-metal band. Whats even more funny is that they all know it. So why even metion it. And as for the seven string guitars. What retard talks shit about using a seven string. Ohh no just because Korn used it. Funny.

Any good musician knows seven string guitars are awesome. Some like it and some don't. I think there harder to play and you can get more sounds from it without having to detune as much. Ok I think I've said to much and I've definately smoked to much. This post is based of the opinions of my high ass so don't take it personnal. I'm just fucking around.And to all you critics out there talking shit.......suck my muthafuckin dick. Muhahahahahahahah. Get a life. Go find some under aged sluts to molest. Get stoned or drunk. Make a record that sells more than slipknot's. After that you can talk shit.

now the band pantera, name a band out there that does what they do, as well as they do. i'm not saying there isn't, i just haven't heard one yet, and i've heard almost everything this world has to offer. every album sounds different in it's own way. it may not to a narrow minded person that obviously has know sense of talent. dimebag darrel is my all time favorite guitarist, i honestly believe he is the best at what he does. i'm not saying he is the best ever. jimmy page, stevie ray vaughn, jimi hendrix, eric clapton, kirk hammet, and david gilmore are all phenomonal guitarist, but which is the best, is there one, does it matter? a lot of some really great bands are influenced by music that isn't anywhere close to the genre they actually play. so where would music be today if not for all the great types of music and musicians that are, and have been? deftones for instance, have brought something different to the table in each album they have made. even chino's side project, team sleep, is very different than all deftones, but what genre would team sleep be labled as? and if slipknot's "wait and bleed" is the single that got them famous because corey decided to add some singing to the hardcore music, what a smart man. it's like mixing all styles of music into one and making it there own. every band wants to sound segragated from other bands, even if there favorite band influenced them to start playing. and those of you that say slipknot, and other bands that would relate are just noise, then you are obviously just tone-def, and close-minded. i wonder if people in the 70's bashed on bands like led zeppelin and pink floyd. but who would be there to listen, appreciate, and agree with them? only those that pretend to know what they are talking about because they know a few band names and little bit about them. those kinds of people are like herded sheep, that listen to what every one else says. this country is all about freedom of speach and the right to have a self-opinion. of course, 90% of the people in this country don't realize that and only do what others say. if a list stating all the things you think it takes to become a nu-metal band is how you want to be herded, so be it. i only ask you to open your mind, and realize what your'e saying. what music do you like? is it really talent, or just what someone before you told you to listen to? don't be biost in your thoughts either. i probably like the same music you do too, and apparently more. but what kind of "poser" would you consider me as? or you? do you think you really know what your' talking about, or did you just see some bands on t.v. you didn't like the sound of and decide to write on how you could be just like them, or just look like them.

all your'e really doing in your list is bashing on how people choose to act, dress, and live there life. i guess, there are some nu-metal bands out there that go by your list, but they're just posers themselves that did infact, get a break (linkin park, staind, mushroomhead, static-x), but does it mean they don't write good music? you would probably say "no", but how open is your mind? just because someone does'nt like something, does'nt make it bad. only in their own opinion. someone stated in the other feedbacks, that what is popular today, won't be popular tomorrow. i beg to differ. i know countless people that would also beg to differ. such music as classic rock has surely not died out. granted bands today don't write music like that these days because music has moved on, but it still remains extremely popular. the only band i can think of that sounds any thing like the old days would be "queensryche". another great band. i'm done saying my two cents now, i only ask you open your mind a bit more and don't be so quick to judge what's talent and what's not.

Shultz

On the subject of Slipknot, they have loose, sloppy drumming ... boring, repetitive structures ... no riffing to speak of ... a complete inability to solo ... lyrics meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator, as few of their fans will ever complete highschool ... and weak vocals. This is not meant to say that every member of Slipknot is a talentless hack. Perhaps, on their own, without the influence of the band, some individuals might be able to rise above that stagnant morass.

I have yet to hear a 'nu-metal' band that in any way sounds like metal. Simply downtuning one's guitar cannot make up for the structural nuances of metal that these bands cannot seem to fathom.

I have nothing against any of these bands, as they serve a purpose. My only complaint is the application of the 'metal' label. At best these bands are hard rock. At worst, they are some form of rap-guitar hybrid that loses everything worthwhile metal can
have. If kids today want to listen to that garbage, they are welcome to. It would be nice if they didn't think it was metal.

I have lose count of the times I would be walking down the street in what is obviously a metal shirt, when some child would accost me, gushing about how I "just have to check out ________ (choose any one: Slipknot, Korn, Rage Against the Machine, Mudvayne, Disturbed, etc to fill in the blank), man! They are da bomb! Heaviest, fastest shit ever!"

And on to Joey Jordison, this supposedly killer drummer. Doug Bohn, Pete Sandoval, Dave Culross, Mike Smith, Flo Mournier, Kevin Talley, and too many others to name, are far faster and more precise.

To those who say, "yeah well, I'd like to see you do better!" Not everyone plays every instrument. That does not mean that they are incapable of recognizing what is impressive, what is difficult, and what is well executed.

It's almost worse, though, when those same mallcore children grow up, and discover old underground bands. Here, in New Orleans, Beherit has suddenly become very popular, especially among those who were not even born when the band formed. A few years earlier, it was Bathory. In some way, it is nice to see some credit given to originators of some very important styles of metal. But most of the kids I see in Beherit shirts can't name a single song by the band. Peculiar. Indon't know what they think they get out of it. The people who know can see straight through them. The only hope is that they will learn to appreciate what they claim to love.

Now for Ozzy Osbourne. That man has had far more lucky breaks than he ever deserved. His voice is weak, and reedy. He requires a pitch modulator on his microphone in order to sing the correct notes in the songs. He has just been surrounded by talented, innovative musicians his entire life. He cannot write music or play an instrument proficiently. The only reason he has writing credit on songs is because Sharon pushed for it in his record deals. She is the power behind the throne of the self-proclaimed prince
of darkness. And yet, he gets credit for being the grand-daddy of metal. I won't deny the power of the music of Black Sabbath, or part of Ozzy's solo career. I will strongly deny any claims that Ozzy is anything more than a whiny old man whose wife has a good head for business.

I suppose that's enough of a rant. There is so much more on the subject that could be said.

-Pixie Williams - New Orleans, LA

First of all, I would like to say that Tool has been around longer than the mallcore movement has. Meshuggah toured with Tool, and I don’t see how the bands should be differentiated just because one is less aggressive sounding and more accessible to the average person.

I know someone who likes a lot of 70’s and 80’s metal, who also likes Orgy a lot, and thinks you shouldn’t take Coal Chamber seriously. He has a piercing, unnatural hair color, finds tattoo’s sexy, and has nothing in his closet worth less than $50. He’s also in his 20’s and has liked Iron Maiden and similar bands since the 80’s. I doubt most mallcore fans have ever listened to an Iron Maiden song, let alone hold judgment over one of their albums.

Rap is low-wit egotism. Nothing will change that. Aside from what I thought were personal biases of yours, your list was dead-on.

I set you the challenge of becoming as succsessful as Slipknot. Your guide makes it seem quite simple so it shouldent be too much trouble rite? good luck and when you fail at the first hurdle I hope you will learn to not judge others when you yourselfs are not any better. Best regards James

i'm a homosexual metal-head - who has given 'head' to a number of other 'straight' metal-heads.... so, gay (the word) is good not bad (just ask them! ha!) and certainly not 'wicked'.

i'm not trying to be 'PC' but the use of the 'gay' word has gotten rather boring. not funny not clever. slipknot, my favourite band close 'behind' El Nino and System could, with a slight twist in perspective, we viewed as a gay as they come - masks, overalls - next dresses then make-up like Kiss. gay indeed!

not angry just want to present the 'alternative' point of view - as no-one else seems to be brave or gay enough to do.... tight leather pants and all!!!? point taken? :-)

gay and out - roger and out

1. to the guy who says the drummer of slipknot is the best drummer ever...good christ...the guys good, but he doesnt even compare to whats out there...in almost every genre of music theres a better drummer than him...shit, death and black metal drummers can play 20 times faster...blast beats that would make that guys arms fall off:
-metal: guy from cephalic carnage, guy from nile, guy from suffocation....etc etc
-rock: neil pert, john bonham, chad sexton, etc
-jazz: art blakey, jake hanna, gene krupa, buddy rich....blah blah blah i could go on forever

2. to the guy who listed the bands who "cant play their instruments" half those bands can totally play their instruments...dead kennedys? are you fucking kidding...east bay ray is a way good guitarist either way...you dont necessarily need to be an incredible musician to play good music...there are so many amazing bands out there who would never stand out as individual musicians, but i dont even know why im saying this...its fairly obvious and anyone with any intelligence already knows this shit. Obviously the absurdity of that guys statements show his outright stupidity.

ok im done ranting, thanks for giving me something to read for a while

The humor of your list is just solidified by how the "fans" of the bands that you are mocking have responded to your list. Myself, I listen to some of the bands that you mock, and find some of their music to be decent, but then again as you have stated, it has become very formulaic, and yes most bands out that are claiming to be "TRUE METAL" or so they say, are in fact not.

I listen to all types of music, but in my heart find Metal music to be my favorite, but I do listen to other genres. Unfortunately more and more teeny boppers on the world cannot open their ears and minds to listen to what else exists out of their own little world.

Now on the matter of your comments, and the comments of "Slipknot (Iowa)" on drumming. Yes 1 from slipknot is a very good drummer, and yes he does have a sense of rhythm, but you also have to realize that there is more than one percussionist in Slipknot. Most of the speed that you are hearing in the music is from the other percussionists using kettle drums and other instruments to get the speed. As for the whole he is the best drummer in the world, yes as I said he is a good drummer, but there are better out there. Dave Lombardo, Gene Hoglan, John Tempesta, John Bonham, just to name a few. I would find these people far more accomplished drummers than the drummer of Slipknot.

Ah well to each their opinions... that is what makes this country great.

Have a good day - Nick

Although I agree with most of what you said, I think you over-generalized. According to your site, anything popular is Nu-Metal. In my opinion, Nu-Metal better describes those bands that sold-out and just gave the people what they [the people] wanted instead of doing things the way they [the band] should have. I say "should" to mean that each band is responsible for their own sound and by doing what is popular is what has become the downfall of music.

I agree that SOME of the bands I've listed can be considered Nu-Metal under your context, but if every band in your site was just called Nu-Metal, then everything produced in the 90s is Nu-Metal. From my understanding, in order for a band to be "heavy metal" or just "metal" in general, they had to have formed in the 80s and never changed their sounds or they must not be very popular. Anything popular must be Nu-Metal? I just wish people would stop generalizing the 90s "metal" scene and try criticizing certain bands for plagiarism or for just being sell-outs. It doesnt take much for a band to become a sell-out, but then again I'm not completely sure what a "sell-out" is.

I launched a little site a couple of months ago which might amuse you - especially the guestbook and all the vehemence against my alter-ego, Klaas. Have a look at http://www.crazylyrics.com

I just hate to see the people who can't seem to stray from their drop-D tunings and simple 4-chord riffs completely "outshine" the talent of better bands. Take, for example, a band like Symphony X. One of the best examples of talent and musical complexity assembled on a stage. I would safely wager that not a selection of the very best of anyone from any of these nu-metal bands could even remotely begin to touch upon what bands like them are doing. And to the "Slipknot" guy who said that his dad is a drummer and has never heard a drummer who is better or faster than Joey (don't get me wrong, I think he's damn good myself), it's obvious that your musical exposure is lacking. Listen to some of Mike Portnoy's work; it'll blow you the hell away. Or if you want to talk about speed, listen to Dimmu Borgir or some other black metal. I'm a drummer myself and I hate to see people who have limited themselves to only thinking that! Joey Jordison or Danny Carey are good. Neil Peart will live forever!!