What people like Nu Metal? The trend do. Why? Well, because they cannot think for themselves, my "sheep" statement will come into effect now. Sheep do not have minds, they always have to follow someone, always stick to the flock. You Nu Metal failed abortions do the same thing. You follow what "everyone" else like, yet completely deny it. For example, how many Nu Metal cunts like Cradle of FIlth? Did you always like them? Of course not...you liked them WHEN Midian and Bitter Suites...came out. Fucking smart. Let's like a band "after" they are popular. Let's like a band WHEN they are NOW talentless. Why did you not bother looking for them when they were "true" black metal? I know, it wasn't the "in" thing.

I am tired of hearing quotes, and people saying, "well your underground bands suck since they are not popular". Don't you realize it? The norm of society, the trend, the "hip" and "in" people are complete morons. Proof of this theory is spelling like a moron and using ebonics. "Kool", "Phat", "Rulz" are not real words; subhumans. The trend like simplistic music, that incorporates "everything" (rock, hip hop, rap, etc.) so everyone likes it....and it must be talentless rifts so even the drop out, "tough" uneducated teens can enjoy that ridiculous music. Bands like Tartaros, Dissection, Diabolicum, Solefald, Wallachia, Ringnevond, Diabolical Masquerade, Crpyptopsy, etc. are too skilled for today's generation. I wonder how many trendy, Korn fans (and other mallcorians) are thinking "THOSE BANDS ARE 80s BANDS!" Well, if you believe that, you fail.

So many "new" bands are not "Nu" Metal. ISoS, Corpus Domini, Norwraith, are phenomenal. Other recently "new" bands, like The Haunted (I know, mostly ex ATG), Thy Sins of the Thy Beloved, Naglfar, etc. are also "real" metal...none of this Nu Metal bullshit.

What bands are Nu Metal? Slipcock, Cumvayne, Stinkin Park, Korn, Limp Dick, Disturbed, Syndrome of a Down(think mallcunts), Crazy Town, Gaybreed, Soulfly, new Slayer, Ozzy Osbourne (who should die), Selloutica, etc, etc, I can go on and on.

Am I getting you turds upset? Aww..don't cry. I am glad that the "Nu Metal" is a category in itself and not incorporated with "true metal". YOU "Hot Topic shoppers, I get all my CDs at FYE, I love Static X" Nu Metal sheep think you listen to "heavy" music? Go listen to Suffocation, get a tampon, clean up after you make a mess shitting yourselves, and we can discuss real metal. -l-

Listen to me you egregious sheep...memorize this list, a few of us "true metalheads" invented this...I give most credit to "manic". How many of your insipid bands are on here? Don't get mad when you see that yourself on that list...

"131 Ways To Tell You're A Mallcore Kid"

1. Your hair is dyed a color that doesn't appear naturally in humans, and you think tattoos and piercings are "sexy."
2. "Rip," "Suck," and "Rule" are the best descriptions you can come up with for music.
3. You think ICP is funny.
4. You think Korn is a metal band.
5. When you write or type words, you do it LiKe ThIs because you think it looks ReAlLy kEwL.
6. You think "Eighties Metal" refers to Motley Crue, Bon Jovi, and Poison.
7. You call yourself a metal fan, but when someone mentions Tom G.Warrior you just get a confused look on your face.
8. You're white, yet you wear really baggy clothes and try to come off as being hardcore.
10. You call people "fags" and "pieces of muthafuckin' shit."
11. You assume that if someone doesn't like Slipknot, they must listen to "pussy stuff like N'sync".
12. You claim to like heavy metal, yet can't name any German thrash bands.
13. You call things "the shit."
14. You own a Dr. Suess hat.
15. You think "goth" means Marilyn Manson.
16. You associate "industrial" with Prodigy instead of Skinny Puppy and Foetus.
17. You have a tribal tattoo.
18. You'd just die if Jonathan Davis touched you!
19. You think black metal bands are trying to copy KISS with their image.
20. You say things like, "Korn rulz and always will! If u dun like them you sux!"
21. You're under 20 years old and claim to like "extreme music."
22. You think the cops probably want to steal your pot.
23. Your music collection consists of less than 100 items. Most or all of these names appear in your collection: Korn, Taproot, Limp Bizkit, Fear Factory, Machine Head, Coal Chamber, System Of A Down, Downset, Soulfly, Pantera, Mudvayne, and Static-X.
24. You say some rap is good.
25. You love Incubus and don't know that there was once a Florida thrash metal band by the same name.
27. You're a 17 year old female and wear crop tops under your open ski jacket in January to show off your navel piercing. Flabby abdominal muscles do not seem to deter you, either.
28. You know who Wayne Static is and think his hair is kEwL.
29. You think Korn "revitalized heavy metal", even though the band themselves want to be disassociated with the genre.
30. You don't realize that Rob Flynn disgraces his past in Vio-lence with every passing moment he spends in Machine Head.
31. You have covered the back of your car in stickers, including at least one anarchy symbol, and one alien.
32. You think death metal is Satanic.
33. You think that by dressing, looking and talking like every other Mallcore simpleton that you're showing your individuality and expressing your uniqueness.
34. You think Fear Factory keeps getting better on every album.
35. You don't realize that Pantera ripped off Exhorder after deciding to cease and desist with glam.
36. You think that Metallica is good for a bunch of old geezers and Reload rocks!!
37. You consider the black album "old Metallica".
38. You think that Roadrunner is an underground label.
39. Best Buy meets all of your music needs.
40. You think you're on the cutting edge of music after seeing such "obscure" bands as Mushroomhead, Taproot, and Drowning Pool.
41. You learned your ebonics from Hatebreed.
42. You never experienced the torture of "Headbangers' Ball" - sitting through 2 hours and 50 minutes of White Lion, Extreme, Enuff Z Nuff and Poison to see a Kreator video.
43. You think Kid Rock is the first person to combine rap with "heavy" guitars.
44. You actually like Staind. Enough to buy it on CD. Enough to see them live. Enough to wear one of their shirts in public.
45. You say you hate the government yet can't name more than five people who actually work in the government, and one of those people is your aunt Irene that works at the DMV.
46. You don't find this rant amusing in the slightest.
47. You think your backpack goes nicely with your backwards baseball cap.
48. You think that the pictures of Coal Chamber are not at all silly, goofy, ugly, or stupid. In fact, you think at least one of the band members is really hot - even in these clothes. In fact, you dress like this every day and your parents and/or teachers give you a lot of grief about it.
49. You say things like "Korn are heavier than Iron Maiden or Judas Priest EVER were".
50. You're constantly in danger of tripping over your wallet chain.
51. You shave your eyebrows to look like that fag from Orgy.
52. You think Stormwitch, Anvil, Destruction and Blood Feast are new games for N64.
53. You think Slipknot is "The heaviest fucking band on earth, EVER. Nothing could top that, dude."
54. You think Linkin Park mosh pits are "violent."
55. Your parents hate your look but buy you your ridiculous clothes anyway because your broke ass won't.
56. You actually go out and buy the bands played on Farmclub.com
57. You think a band kicks ass if the guitarist performs a BMX Tabletop while he's playing that constant over-distorted open sludge note on it.
58. You look like Fred Durst.
59. You wear a red baseball cap that's somewhat furry.
60. You look like Eminem and actually think he's kEwL.
61. You know every lyric to all of Eminem's albums.
62. Before the Black Album got huge, you called Metallica "worship-Satan, kill-your-mother, rape-your-sister shit."
63. Hot Topic, Aeropostale and Gadzooks meet all of your clothing needs.
64. You actually think Kid Rock is worth your spending money on.
65. When somebody mentions metal, you think Papa Roach instead of Motorhead.
66. You've heard real metal and you don't like it.
67. You refuse to acknowledge the fact that Slipknot's masks are just gimmicks.
68. You think Limp Bizkit and Crazy Town are "tight."
69. You call death metal boring but you've never actually listened to a death metal band.
70. You get confused in the metal chatroom as to why most people there are "dissing" your favorite band.
71. You've sent hatemail to webmasters of anti-mall metal sites(with bad grammar and obscene language, of course).
72. You dress in a gothic way, listen to stuff such as Marilyn Manson and Korn but have the nerve to call yourself a non-conformist.
73. You fancy yourself as a non-conformist rebel but shrink back in fear everytime your math teacher tells you to "knock it off!"
74. Every time a new mallcore band pops up, you are usually one of the first to buy their CDs at FYE, in the mall.
75. You claim you don't like boy bands or rappers but you hang around with most of their fans.
76. You think the singer from Mudvayne is really hot.
77. When somebody mentions Slayer you think God Hates Us All.
78. You say the first Coal Chamber album doesn't sound like Korn.
79. You get confused when somebody says the singer from Tristania is better than the singer from Kittie.
80. You say Hot Topic isn't a trendy store.
81. Your hair is more colors than a hippie's shirt.
82. Your idea of Death Metal is Fear Factory.
83. Your screenname has more X's than ever thought imaginable in a 16-letter space.
84. You actually smoke pot on April 20th.
85. You think Cannibal Corpse started "death metal."
86. Your closet is full of Jncos and Korn/Slipknot/Mudvayne shirts, all with bleach stains and holes and fringed ends.
87. Your idea of a heavy guitar sound is an Ibanez RG7 tuned to Z flat.
88. You don't know what happened to Danzig after The Misfits.
89. You use your index, pinky AND thumb when making the metal salute.
90. Your idea of underground is Spineshank.
91. The more dented, scratched, stickered up and destroyed your guitar is, the better it is.
92. You think that by rebelling against your parents you're actually accomplishing something.
93. You've hit a "gravity bong."
94. You think of Cold as being emotional.
95. You consider yourself a black metal fan because you recently found out about Phil Anselmo's side project "Viking Crown."
96. You think Cradle Of Filth is black metal.
97. You deny that Slipknot and Korn are mainstream, yet they are constantly aired on MTV and widely available in malls.
98. You really think Marilyn Manson mames animals on stage.
99. All of your friends look exactly like you with slight differences like whether the lip piercing is on the left or right.
100. Your idea of a diverse musical taste is Blink 182.
101. You own a skateboard.
102. You think Slipknot's drummer is good because he can play double bass.
103. You worship Slipknot but don't know who Anal Blast are.
104. You think every band Metal Edge Magazine mentions is metal. Not to mention go by what bands label themselves, no matter how false it is.
105. You play a 7-string guitar and seriously think Korn invented them.
106. You don't know that Korn ripped off a Morbid Angel song. The breakdown of Morbid Angel's "Angel Of Disease" sounds exactly like Ball Tongue. (Angel Of Disease-1993, Ball Tongue-1994)
107. You say "y'all."
108. You think Tool is talented because they sound different from other mallcore bands.
109. Whenever your parents or other adults are around, you cough to hide the obscenities when you have a Korn CD on.
110. You think no one listens to Eighties Metal anymore and if they do, they're at least fourty years old.
111. You think Chris Barnes has the "deepest voice."
112. Your parents make you go to church and you think you're evil and blasphemic by wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt when you go with them.
113. The first time you ever heard Morbid Angel was when you saw them with Pantera and Kittie.
114. When someone mentions grind, all you can think of is Anal Cunt.
115. You think real metallers have never outsmarted a mallcore nerd and foolishly try to fight them.
116. You think people who don't like mallcore don't listen to it because they can't understand it.
117. You think people who don't like mallcore can't take "hard music."
118. You think Deicide is the most Satanic band in the world.
119. You think Corey Taylor is "da best fuckin' metal singer EVER."
120. You think Slayer are the godfathers of "death metal."
121. When someone mentions Hellhammer, you think of the drummer of Kovenant.
122. Your only use for vinyl records is as a frisbee.
123. You like Primus, but don't know who Possessed were.
124. You would cream yourself if Ozzy autographed your copy of the Reunion CD.
125. You say anything you don't listen to must suck.
126. You think Ozzy is the godfather of all metal.
127. You think Brave New World is the best Maiden album.
128. You think "666" is a Satanic symbol.
129. You obstinately deny the influence of rap in mallcore even though many of them claim rap influence.
130. You've never heard 80s Sepultura.
131. Last, but not least the first time you hear of Meshuggah is when they play Ozzfest this summer.

- downtuned powerchord intro, verse, chrous, verse, chorus, interlude with a DJ or another downtuned powerchord and the singer screaming FUCK every 5 seconds, and then it's verse, chorus, chorus, end of song, end of discussion.

Please, it's just too simple. There's really no talent in that. And what is with this policy of no guitar solos or leads? Last time I checked guitar solos and
leads were essential for a Rock or a Metal band. True times change, I understand this and trends come and go, but this is simply ridiculous. It's like these bands are not even attempting at trying to do something original or different. They all know how to make money and what process to do it in. No motivation. It's sad. I look into the eyes of some of these Nu-Metal fans and Nu-Metal fans alike and I see empty souls crying out. I see souls that have taken the word from "icons" such as Kurt Cobain, Johnathan Davis, etc. and have really taken it so seriously that it prevents them from thinking for themselves or actually having a social life. FUCK LORD, WHEN? WHEN IS MY TIME? FUCK!( A little Jay & Silent Bob humor for ya there)

Also a note to the Nu-Metal fans who come here to first read this site...go check-out bands such as Cryptopsy, The Crown, Death, Possessed, Nuclear Assault, Iron Maiden, Motorhead, Venom..etc. and then go back and listen to Korn or Slipknot and you will notice a WORLD of difference.

Heavy music has now been with us for 35 years now and unlike some other musical genres, has survived and still retains its soul. Ever since Jimi Hendrix combined a distortion box with his incredable playing on his Fender Stratocaster; to Black Sabbath writing some of the darkest music of the era and
defining Heavy Metal; to the likes of AC/DC, Iron Maiden and Metallica taking heavy music to its commercial peak; to today's metal heroes such as Pantera, Tool, Fear Factory etc, heavy music has retained an intergrety, a soul, and constant interest which is unsurpassed. Its incredible how many older heavy bands are still around, or if not, still have a devoted fanbase. It is also incredible the newer bands who are coming out, coming up with brilliant original heavy music, and defying the nu metal trend.

It will be more original bands who will be remembered in the future, hopefully like bands such as Sweedish progressive-melodic death metallers Opeth, who produce unique music that has its own identity and doesn't follow any trends.

Thanks for your witty list of "nu-metal" stereotypes, even though some can be taken out of context.

1. As soon as anything becomes popular enough to get any kind of media exposure it's selling out/for posers etc. [exceptions are made if they are an old band]

2. Even though the quality of music is subjective, a certain genre can suck. There is a scientific process to find out if a whole genre (such as 'numetal') sucks.

3. If a group uses anything other than straight guitars and drums they aren't talented enough.

-The radio comes on-

This sounds like Metallica, no wait... Megadeth, nope AC/DC, nah it's definitely Pantera.... They all have that SAME ORIGINAL sound that you can mix 'em up sometimes!

Anyway, my point (other than some humor on the inverse side of your guide) is that I don't like the system that has been built to classify music, it seems to affect the psyche of musicians and fans. This applies to all media though (movies, games, books-not as much though).

Once again, nice satirical piece!
-Mike S

And now My Opinion - I think people are a bit harsh on Slipknot, but that's what you get when your main media representative is an unspecified "percussionist" in a clown mask with nothing to talk about but THE SICKNESS. Ah well. It won't last much longer; I hear Ross Robinson is bored of doing nu-metal albums. I read a quote from him along the lines of "If I have to hear one more hip-hop inspired metal bass riff, I'm going to get violent" and even Thirsty Fred's moving on; his latest proteges Puddle Of Mudd are definitely in the Grunge category. So it's a step backwards to another tedious, limited and done-to-death style that we all hoped was dead and buried. At least it's a step.

http://www.techtroid.com/nu_metal_fans_guide.html

Nu metal sucks
Long Live Death Metal!!

nice site man - ragdoll

All that is true in metal will prevail, and hopefully not to the mainstream!!!!!
\m/ \m/

Don't listen to this shit kiddies. Get some Pantera, Metallica, Testement, Black Label Society, Motorhead, Slayer, or Machine Head (with Logan Madder only). Everyone who says Slipknot is fast and technical is a 12 year old who spent their life listening to Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond on their parent's car radio. This trend will be over by the time Metallica and Testament release their new studio albums (and let's hope we get some 80's vintage Metallica this time.)

Dude - Alright I love NuMetal I got a NuMetal band myself, Anyways I love your site Your dissing Nu-Metal (New Metal / Neo Metal whatever) and well its funny. And lot of it is true thats why its funny.

anyways nice site .. its funny...

1- no one likes bands like Slayer, and Iron Maiden, etc...
2- Solo's are borning to listen to thats why no one wants to hear them only people that play 80's music on there guitar cuz there stuck in the 80's that think Randy roads is still alive
3- I play guitar and I can pull some of the fastest licks you've ever heard..
4- Get with the program... if you got a band and you wanna make it some where you gotta get with the times... going to a record label and showing the how well you can cover old Metallica covers won't do shit for them .. they'll kick you out.
5- I'm in a big nu-metal band and I know what I'm talkin' about... Everyone knows my band (you have some people that wrote my bands name on your site.)
6- If you have anything to say e-mail me.. or write it on this site i'll keep checkin' it out...

by the way Great site

AND IF U NU METAL FOLKS GOT A PROBLEM ILL GIVE U THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST!!!

The point is, they've kept going and inovating and at some point (huh... Follow The Leader?) what they did caused them to hit the mainstream and become successful; there were already bands that used their (Korn's) approach on music before, but no one really gave them as much of a hard time as now, a good example is Coal Chamber (who shared the down-tuned and simple riffing characteristics and the angry/depressed vocal style); ! after that point in which the "leaders" were recognized and rewarded for their music, others realized that they could follow and make money as well, unfortunately, the mainstream had already anticipated this and made a fashion out of the genre, giving those brainless unoriginal and overall poor excuses for "bands" (that weren't even decent copycats in the first place!) a road that was already paved, an easy way to make money, which was exactly what they wanted!!!
And so now there are more and more Nu Metal bands out there and the number seems to be increasing everyday!!!

Unfortunately, everything's like that nowadays, MTV and the likes tell kids what they want and they believe it without even questioning why!! It's a shame but they have been blinded and they don't even realize, if asked why they hear certain bands they answer with arguments given by those before them and not their own. But this happens even beyond the mainstream (!!!), alot of people will chew me out for this (that may include you, the owner of this site) but... so-called extreme Metal (Death Metal, Black Metal, Doom Metal, Grindcore, etc.) fans also suffer from this "disease"! The example I can give you is: most of them will direct every kind of negative and destructive criticism towards Nu Metal (for example), just to fit in where they have been accepted, where they drifted to when they discovered that society is a vicious oppressive system.

That "place" is the underground, where there are also the ones that are looked up to and the ones who look up to them, those who look up are influenced by the ones they admire (it's only natural), but that consequently affects their judgement, if an "idol" says this or that is crap they tend to believe it (not so easily as in the maistream though) and in the future when they are asked about the same "this and that" they often (if not always) use the same arguments and have the same opinions. If they're extreme Metal fans they feel they have to act tough and have a strong metalhead-like personality ! no matter what (even though they might actually like some of what they usually diss) so that they won't be criticized by their own "kin" (where they are accepted - see the picture?), of course this happens unconsciously and no one will ever admit it. What I'm trying to say is that... individualism is almost extinct, it's a fact, sad but true. If I like or believe in something I will not care what culture or sub-culture it's from, I will hear it,

I will listen to it, I will see it, I will read it, etc. I don't care, if other people's thoughts towards my personal choices aren't constructive or merely observational, they will not affect me or bother me at all. If you want to comment on anything I've said, feel free to e-mail me, I appreciate constructive criticism and true individual thoughts and I might be open for discussions in other topics.