Kornphreak@gmx.net - 15 Apr'06: Hey! (i'm german so excuse my language mistakes)
i read a lot of those rules and stuff on this page and i don't think, this site could be a joke. Who are you to judge every band that turned slightly into mainstream direction? This shouldn't become a hatemail but when i read all the rules about being a numetal band and those things you have to know as a "real metaller", i really got pissed off! first, i listened to everything in the charts and i hate myself for doing that. then i saw the "here to stay"-video of korn. i hated it. a friend talked me into listening to a linkin park cd (meteora) that was cool. i got used to that and threw all the pop-shit away. then, suddenly, i loved korn! i bought their cds and i know,´this single fact doesn't make me a korn-fan. i call myself a kornfan, because when i listened to their music i felt all the pain , i imagined jonathan must have had. somehow, that reminded me about myself and the shit i had lived through (although i was only 12).

Maybe this is exactly what makes you a fan of a band. you cant judge that, man! you cant judge the feelings someone has, even if a person only loves metal because his friends do as well. people can make their fates worse than they actually are, but you cant fuckin' judge that! you cant say, those kids are retarded because they act like they were hard or because they write WeiRD w0rD5! i dont think its bad if you blame someone for not knowing who celtic frost was. music is a belief, not only a thing you do. and for everyone its something else. for some, its only a help to understand themselves , some feel better if they get depressed only because they're in the mood to be depressed, and some others live their music. every single word in the lyrics describes their
lifes and if you can say that, i think, you can say youre a fan of your music. maybe there were so much complaints and hatemails about this page because the people who listened to metal because they had to take much shit in their lifes, felt offended in what they believed in. thats my opinion to this topic. i dont have the vocabulary to write everything i think about this and thats ok because if i had that, this could become a freaking long mail! however, have fun and greetings from germany, KoRnphreak

"Warren Lodge" <cowgodjnr@ntlworld.com> - 27 Mar'06: Just found your web site by accident. Some seriously funney stuff my friend. Perhaps the reason so many people send you hate email is that they recognise themselves in one of your lists.

On the other hand, I am 32, been playing metal playing metal since i was 15, and evan I recognised myself in a couple of the 131 items.for example, My favourite guitart is an old BC Rich Warlock, I bought in 1991. Its covered in 1996 season football stickers, and has screws holding the headstock together. I am not going to stop using it. so, I guess I better get used to bieng a 'mall mosher'.

I am now going to take the published formula for NU-metal and take it to band practice. Next stop stardom.

Des Capitated

"tim K" <topwanker_@hotmail.com> - 19-Feb'06: I just came home from a show..saw Trivium and In Flames. I always said that Nu-metal sucked, but I never knew just how awful it was until this night. Luckily I have a cousin that got me in the show free and when I left the parking garage, the cashieer must have been off taking a shit because I was able to drive out without paying. The night was free, so the only thing that was wasted was my time. Devildriver was in the lineup, which was why I went but got there too last and had to sit through Trivium (the guy made the crowd jump up and down to the music, told the crowd that they were the best crowd yet for the entire tour, the guitarists did simultaneous headbanging-on purpose, just so many things were wrong with this show). I sat through 1.5 songs of in flames before I left. I knew this music sucked, but tonight I saw that it goes much deeper than I ever realized. The crowd did not know just how pathetic they were, buying into this crap.

The music is heavy, but then the guitarist plays poppy melodic shit over it, is that the sugar coating over it so these fucking meatheads can digest it. I now have about as much respect for these guys as I do in sync, maybe even less. At least in sync are outwardly sissyish, no real pretense. Where these nu-metal guys are fooling people. But people are gobbling this shit up, Fuck.

I appreciate your nu-metal guide, really got some good laughs out of it, all the following I saw tonight

16. Jump in the air while playing your guitar, and while in mid-air place the guitar on your side.
17. During concerts, ask your audience to sing along...
18. ...jump up and down...

44. Your t-shirts must be plain black with your logo in front and a teen-angst quote in the back.
57. Your drummer must be topless during live concerts.
60. Always suck up to the crowd during a live performance -- ie. "its a good day to be here in Los-@#%$-Angeles!" too fucking funny:
37. You consider the black album "old Metallica".
6. You think "Eighties Metal" refers to Motley Crue, Bon Jovi, and Poison.

Thanks, Tim

"OverXposseD" <overxpossed@arnet.com.ar> - 8-Feb'06: Hello man… From Argentina. First of all, the Word “nu” isn’t exists. I suppose means “new”. You should add some stuff related to the dyslexic way that “nu metal people” writes. I think that kind of “metal” is a fucking fashion pose. Metal was Megadeath, Pantera, Sepultura, Cannibal Corpse, Napalm Death, and so on. I asked to some “nu metal people” about that bands and they didn’t know!!!! I was surprised!!!

Definitely, “nu metal bands” are for stupid teenagers who want to get weird. I agree a lot with your “101 rules to make a nu metal band”.

Nu metal definitely sucks.

I was looking about what the fuck is a “nu metal band”, because they grab a lot of money doing shit. And I need money, and a woman J

You know, in this times women conceder fashion guys (people who is closes to be gay) more attractive than a well formed man. I mean, you’re more attractive if your have your hair in some strange way, you have to move your body all the time (like seducing) and talk always with a soft voice (like aphonic) and put some lacks in your talk, to give the impression that you’re drugged (or thinking).

Women doesn’t like men that are men, they prefer that kind of trash guys… You know… You can write a “What a Nu Metal Girl wants from a man”. It could be nice… J

Nice web site, I will forward it by mail to my contacts (some of them likes nu metal HAhhHA).

"Scott Newlan" <scottnewlan@hotmail.com> - 5-Feb'06: Hey there, my name's Scott. Much to your dismay, I'm sure, I am a huge 'nu metal' fan and always have been. That having been said, I'm not one to take a joke the wrong way, and I believe strongly that if you can't have a good laugh at yourself (or in this case, your interests) every once in a while, then you're insecure. Thus, I found your 'nu metal' ridiculing site absolutely HILARIOUS. I guess it was so funny because I know all the bands you mentioned like the back of my hand, and you were spot on with the vast majority of them.I would, however, like to discuss something with you; I'm not entirely sureif you're a 'real metal' fan, or even a 'real metal' sympathiser, but you seem to be by the way you're taking the piss out of 'nu metal'. So if you are in fact a 'real metal' fan,then I'd like to put forward the following arguements:

1. I believe that the only reason 'real metal' fans hate 'nu metal' so muchis because 'nu metal' actually made it out of the underground. They came up with a fresh, original sound, and it hit the big time, and I think 'real metal' fans can't hack that because their genre is still stuck unrecognised, and very hard to find in all the record shops.

2. If 'real metal' fans actually DO hate 'nu metal', in the instance that we're assuming my above assumption was incorrect, then why don't they just think of it as a seperate genre in itself - it is, afterall, and I would have thought that's fairly obvious. The only relation between 'real metal' and most 'nu metal' is that there is a guitarist (often two), a bass guitarist, a drummer, and a singer. Oh yeah, and they're both loud. But I don't see why 'real metal' fans have to feel as if 'nu metal' is somehow a discredit to their genre, for the following reasons: Most people have no CLUE what 'real metal' is, and thus, they don't know what a 'real metal' fan is. It shouldn't be seen as defacing 'real metal' fans that 'nu metal' is in existance and is so popular, because if people don't know what 'real metal' is and who 'real metal' fans are, then how can they link the two together?
- Most 'nu metal' bands have been known to say that their music is whatever it is, and alot of the time they mention that their music can't actually be categorised. They're trying to ESCAPE the 'nu metal' label for the very reason that all 'real metal' fans hate it so much. In fact, they're trying to escape even being associated with metal of any kind. They're trying to keep the peace.

3. Why do you think 'real metal' fans hate 'nu metal' so much, yet 'nu metal' fans don't give a flying fuck about 'real metal' fans? I'll make the alliteration here of reminding you of the civil war in America - of course, the North won, and so the South HATED that. The North got over it in a few weeks and went back to getting on with their lives, but I'll be damned if the confederates aren't still spitting every time they hear mention of the North 'til this very day. My point is, the North is like 'nu metal' and the South is 'real metal'. The North made it - they won, so maybe it's time the South fuckin' shut the fuck up and got the fuck over it.

4. The label 'nu metal' is so vast; you could listen to one 'nu metal' band, and then a different band from that same category and they would sound worlds apart. It's as vast as the 'alternative rock' genre. And y'know what I think? I think it's a label used whenever 'real metal' fans don't like a band, or perhaps even more accurately, when they don't like a band BECAUSE the band made it to the big time. 'Dry Kill Logic' is a band that hit the big time - they're not what I'd associate at ALL with 'nu metal' bands of any description, but just because they are reasonably popular does that make them 'nu metal'? There's nothing wrong with making money, my friend, and there's nothing wrong with being famous, so being a 'sellout' shouldn't nessicarily be seen as a bad thing. And so, 'nu metal' is, in my opinion (please do correct me if I'm wrong) just a derogetory term used to sledge any band that a) Hits the big time or b) Has an advertisement. Thus, I believe the term is irrelevant labelling, and that the genre 'nu metal' does not exist - this is why, you may have noticed, I have been referring to the genre in inverted commas throughout this email.

5. I call myself a 'nu metal' fan, most definetly - I listen to bands like Mudvayne, Soulfly, Mushroomhead, Deftones, Disturbed, System of a Down, The Deadlights, Nothingface, Machine Head, Powderburn, Hed(pe), Coal Chamber, Static X.. hell, even KoRn and Slipknot sometimes, and that's just to name a few 'nu metal' bands I listen to, 24 hours 7 days a week. I can't get enough of it. But I also listen to some of what 'real metal' fans would call 'real metal', in fact I've listened to a very large variety of 'real metal' bands. I decided, however, that I still liked 'nu metal' FAR, FAR better than 'real metal', which is often far too long, drawn out, monotonous and even quite boring. I'd find myself listening to 'real metal' bands for a few minutes, getting bored and then putting some 'nu metal' on. I made that choice. So don't assume that all 'nu metal' fans are completely ignorant of 'real metal'; that's an assumption, a stereotype, and a label - all three of these things I'm sure most 'real metal' fans would be against. I don't wear black t-shirts with my bands logo in the middle, my hair colour is natural, I don't have any peircings, I HATE eminem and all rappers, I don't smoke
weed, I'm not a 'wigger', and I'm NOT a fucking idiot. I'd appreciate it if people don't fucking stereotype people by what fucking music they listen to. That's one thing that fucking pisses me off.

So those are a few of my arguements. There's several more, but looking back over this email I've realised it's gotten very lengthy and I don't want to bore you. Please, your thoughts on this would be much appreciated, if you could reply then that would be great.

Regards, Scott

Paul Bealey <somnium.kaze@gmail.com> - 31 Jan'06: Well done, man, this is some of the most hilarious stuff I've seen since Ruthless Review's "Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics".

As to the guy who mailed in a few entries back- from when I read it, anyway- if you think Slipknot has a fast drummer, let me play some Dragonforce for you some time. I have no doubts that your head will explode. For those of you who have praised what some of these bands have the balls to call "lyrics", might I mention Sonata Arctica, or Blind Guardian? How about a little Demons and Wizards? Want some guitar talent, give Yngwie Malmsteen or Symphony X a go. And on the topic of musical talent, have a listen to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra or Van Helsing's Curse for some classical in your metal.

Keep spreading the word of awesome music and bitchin' guitar solos,
Paul "Metal Penguin" Kaze

"Lionel Lerner" <lerner_lionel@hotmail.com> - 31 Jan'06: About your concept of nu metal

Hey, I´m from Argentina (south america), actually Buenos Aires. I´ve just read about your concept of nu metal, and let me tell you I almost die laughing, almost swallow my tongue. It´s the same here about the nu metal fans, the only thing is that here rap is not a popular music (lukyly), and then here rap is still cool for some people, not something popular, so when a kornyboy says he likes rap a bit he´s still weirder here.
See you.
Great job, really.

Steve-O <evodead@gmail.com> - 31 Jan'06: Hey, I am surprised that you spent all that time raging on Nu-Metal when there are plenty of other things that should be criticized (ex. "pop punk"). But you are entitled to your opinions. I am wondering what it is that you have against Korn. As in the band and the music they play, not the fans. They are a great band that has a lot of meaning behind their music. Obviously they are not the best band ever but they deserve some credit. Not for songs like: Blind, Clown, Shoot and Ladders, Freak on A Leash, Got the Life (still good), or anything after the Untouchables.

* Do you hate all Nu-metal bands?
* As long as they don't claim to be metal I don't have a problem. Unless it's Limp Bizket or Linkin Park or any shit like that.
* Slipknot had a few good songs but they look retarded, have way too many useless and talentless musicians and have even more retarded fans.
* Marilyn Manson tries to hard. He's not goth, but Nu-Metal.
* S.O.A.D. lost it after Steal This Album.
* Mudvayne lost it after/during The End of All Things To Come.
* Static-X is my favorite band but that last cd "Start A War" was kind of a let down.
* Kittie lost it after they kicked Talena Atfield out, cause she was hot.

I agree with you some many of the things that you said but seriously, you cant hate all Nu-Metal.... unless you're a metal head.

Have fun, if you read these things.

-- <?>StEvE-O<?>

"Harry Rylott" <heavymetalninja@hotmail.com> - 6 Jan'06: dude! Even though i like quite a lot of the liek mainstream bands you have been "dissin'" i thought your article was hilarious. Ive just read through it and i couldn't stop lauhging even though i do apply to part of that slipknot goth thingy with the pic of kids in slipknot hoodies with dummies and dyed hair. I dont really care what you say about bands because to me i just liek the music. And btw what is wrong with pantera? ive just got their best of and i really like it. Which bands do you like seen as your so anti-nu metal? Here are some i like: Iron maiden (al their stuff and brave nu world isnt the best album lol number of the beast probs is or piece of mind), metallica (Master of Puppets is the best album by far, and although St Anger is very unlike Metalica i still thikn it is v good), Nirvana, Pantera, S.O.A.D, Slipknot (but the self titled album is truly shit lol), Guns N Roses, Slayer (ish im still deciding), Motorhead, Rage Against The Machine, KoRn, Lamb Of God, Linkin park, Limp Bizcuit (well the song break stuff), Faith no more (song epic), Megadeth, Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, TheRamones etc... can u plz give me ur opinion on these bands plz

"Santeri Sarjanen" <mad_santa00@hotmail.com> - 6 Jan'06 - ok, hellob i've come across so many people who have the exactly same attitude and oppinion towards nu metal. i get it, you listen to the heaviest type of music, and its not "cool" for people like you to like or respect any other genre of music.i admit, i like linkin park's, korn's and papa roach's music. but i also listen to heavier stuff, like children of bodom. i dont have a ego to live up to, i dont care if you people think im uncool or whatever for listening to this music.i do not limit myself to a certain type of music. i listen to almost any type of metal, i listen to most rock and i do think eminem has a few good songs. you can keep on ranting about nu metal, if it makes you feel so superior, but i dont care, cause i listen to music i enjoy, not music that will make certain people think i am "cool". your doing this, and, as someone said, missing out on a lot of good music.

thats my oppinion.

P.S. slipknot. this is to the person who mentioned slipknot having their OWN looks, music, attitude etc etc. they copied mushroomhead (good music btw) with the whole mask and boiler suit thing.

"Kenny Mitchell" <ironbreath@hotmail.com> - 28 Dec '05: 101 Rules of Nu-Metal/131 Signs You're a Mallcore Kid - Hm.... I love System Of A Down, Cradle of Filth and quite a few of the other bands that you knocked on, but I also love a lot of the bands that you 'put on a pedestal.' How about Gwar, you like them at all? Hmm, I already wrote one response that didn't quite work so this on is probably going to be lacking. I just think that it's funny, what you wrote. It's true about a
lot of the stupid kids that live in big cities, and spend all their time at the mall buying all that pop-culture bullshit to be 'unique' - just like everyone else. Another funny thing about your writing is that just by writing what you did, you proved that you yourself are conforming to some sort of idea of 'metal' or whatever. At the same time, it's all in good fun

- Why do some of the other responses entail anger and whatnot? I think everyone should be able to laugh at themselves. System Of A Down is my favorite band, but I also like bands like Gwar, Motorhead, Pantera, Cannibal Corpse, Blitzkid, Faster Pussycat, Arch Enemy, etc. I just think it's weird how people can call other posers and junk, there is no such thing as a poser. There are sheep and there are shephards, but that's all situational.

It just depends on where one lives, and that environment's popular culture. I live in a hick-ass town in Nevada, so when I listen to music like Tool, or Behemoth or Slaughter, people think I'm 'so metal' or whatever. The truth is I'm just a druggie - I do every drug I can get my hands on and I love all assortments of music. I guess the main point I'm trying to make is that everyone takes life and its inner-workings too seriously. If you can't luagh at yourself, your life is not worth living.

- IronBreath

Martin Slot" <m_slot85@hotmail.com> - 27 Dec'05: Hey there, I'm danish AND I LOVE THIS section :D HAHA (upper case = im shouting :P) And as the 14 year old boy on quakenet would say, th1s sit3 iz f0ck1n' 1337.

Keep up the funny shit. - Martin Slot @ www.sigsys.dk
Slamcoding for peace

"Brian Hunt" <zaphodbblx@verizon.net> - 17 Dec '05: heya! - loved reading " the nu-metal guide", Being 35 I actualy remember when Deicide and Fear Factory were good AND "underground"(sniff) and id never thought of them in the same framework as the Hot Topic/Mallcore zombie jackoffs I see so often these days!

I recently asked a few "malcore deathies" if they were going to go to the Celtic Frost reunion tour I heard was going on this summer( can tom warrior still sing?) and they say they didnt like that "wigger girl shit"! Go figure

keep up the funny stuff...love the funny - Brian Hunt

"Matthew Potter" <thou_shalt_take_thy_place_on_the_crucifix@hotmail.com> - 15 Dec '05: Man, that site made me split my sides! I totally agree with it all. Nu metal is nothing more than singing about imaginary girlfriends and eyegouging.

I like to listen to real metal, not this imitation crap that is nu metal. I would also agree with Cradle of Filth not being black metal- they are a retarded version of Marilyn Manson, in my opinion. Thankyou.

"Aaron Stark" <metal134@earthlink.net> - 13 Dec '05: Hey, I stumbled upon your site and thought I'd give you my 2 cents. I agree and disagree with you. Firts, let me say that I do not like new metal; it's not that I think it's bad, it's just not something that I can get into. I am 23, but you would think I was 43 based on my musical tastes, I don't listen to nu metal, but I love Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Diamond Head, Motorhead, etc. While it's true that nu metal is not what those bands were (or still are, in some cases), it is still metal. Like it or not (I don't, but I readily admit it), it is a derivative form of metal. Just as Mercyful Fate, Sepultura, and Anthrax were completely different animals from what was considered heavy metal with Black Sabbath, Judas Priest or Motorhead, this metal is something totally different than that (again, I don't like it, but I accept it). Also, I think it would be unfair to say that Korn wasn't one of the most influential bands of the late 90's. Just about every current rock band is derivived from Korn. I like Korn, but they wouldn't even crack my top 50; yet I would be remice to deny the influence they have had. I hope that one day, music can return to something I can get on board with, but I accept what is is, where it came from, and have hope that it will soon change for the better.

Aaron Stark - EarthLink Revolves Around You.

cruella villa <crucifixxxxxation@yahoo.com> - 12 Dec'05: I visited your site, and I must say that I agree with you on several of those things. But just curious, how many of these must you answer yes to in order to be considered "mallcore"? If mallcore is about following the latest trends, then what is wrong with liking a few nu-metal bands for the music? I just don't see that. You don't suck if you don't like them, it's your right, and that is one of the major factors in determining whether one is mallcore or just enjoys the music a little. I don't mind Slipknot or Mudvayne, but I don't believe they are the best bands ever and they are definitely overrated and have regressed since their debuts. The other factor in determining a mallcore is the whole obsession with Hot Topic, despite the fact that they are a "trendy" store. Owning/renting a slot in a mall is hellishly expensive for a retailer, and if the store wasn't selling to masses then it wouldn't be in the mall. And appealing to masses is what constitutes a trend. Thus, HT is trendy. And band t-shirts, please, not like the band gets much of the profit anyways if you bought them from HT. So it's not "supporting the band" So I agree with you on that one. Agreed on #72. Kids(based on maturity level, not age), please dont call yourselves nonconformist just because you dress a certain way and listen to certain music. It's a nonconformist trend, which is an oxymoron, so its just a trend. Agreed on #45. Nothing wrong with hating the government, but please give educated reasons besides the war, gas, and too many stinkin' rules. And of course, #106. That statement, amen amen amen. Not enough people realize that.

Then there's a few that I don't agree with. Add PacSun to #63 and it would work. If mallcore kids aren't wearing their band clothes and huge pants, they are wearing their <insert skate/surf brand here> hoodies and t-shirts. #17, a tribal tattoo isn't really much of a mallcore symbol b/c 1)so many people who have no interest in any form of metal or rock music whatsoever have tribal tattoos, they are not a musical symbol in any way and 2)Under 18- mallcores would whine and scream to mommy about not getting one, but they probably wouldn't have them. #23: A hundred item CD collection takes lots of money, so one who couldn't afford to buy cd's on a whim probably wouldn't have that. And I repeat, there's nothing wrong with listening to what you like. Same with metal-core, which I predict will get bashed next. #107: y'all is also Southern dialect. Not only a nu-metal lingo. #101: Owning a skateboard? What does that have to do with mallcore? Nothing. Maybe a lot of mallcores skateboard, but that doesn't mean much. #24: Nothing wrong with liking a different style of music.

Adding on, the pic fits the article. Kids with odd colored hair wearing slipknot hoodies sucking on pacifiers(i liked that). Probably claiming to be nonconformist, although they are too blind(or stupid) to notice the Slipknot sign hanging in a Virgin mobile store(or just a cell phone/electronics store that carries virgin mobile phones). Which probably means now you can get slipknot ringtones. Wow, how nonconformist is that. Have your 'rebel music' in everyone's faces every time that useless cell phone of yours rings, wow you're so nonconformist. "H3Y IM GUNNA GO WATKH MTV 2 CEE DA N00 SLIPKNOT VYDEO! IF U DUN LYKE IT U FUKKIN SUK!!!" <<pathetic

"Damon Nightingale" <zombiegod2000@hotmail.com> - 12 Dec'05: Just finished reading your nu-metal thing. I like bands like slipknot (nile's drummer would kill joey) and pantera and sorts but i must say, your website fucking kicks ass, some funny shit. You should check out (if you have not already) Viz. It would be strange if it were really slipknot who sent you those emails. Just for the record, Vol.3 could not be more of a bad slayer rip off it tried.

"Callum Wilson" <monkeycrap666@hotmail.co.uk> - 7 Dec'05: im a big fan of slipknot,SOAD and a few other bands you named on your thingy guide and i loved it, it was really funny and the mallcore thingy was great anyway yeah man keep up the good work.... i know this may seem stupid but were those responces from corey taylor real ?

BleedxXxBlack75@aol.com - 4 Dec'05: I stumbled across your site when I was utterly bored and searching for random things about Nu-Metal bands. I have come to realize that I am a proud Mallcore Kid, so thank you for helping me find my true identity. I have been struggling to find my stereotype, and now I know. I am not ashamed of being a Mallcore, poser kid either. I think it's funny. I must be very amusing to the real hardcore head-bangers out there, hmm?

I would also like to add that you made fun of Slipknot, a band that I am very into. You labeled them as a shitty metal band with no talent. Although I disagree with this, the entire 'Become The Next Slipknot' section of your site made me giggle and such. It was witty and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, mostly because it had mature and intelligent humor as opposed to it sounding like some whiney, illiterate fool wrote it. People ridicule Slipknot all the time, with their sly remarks of, "slipknot sux sooo much!!! dey R a bunch of sissy ass poserz!!!!" And anything of the like. (Not that there aren't a few Slipknot fans that disgrace the name of maggots everywhere.) It's nice to see someone with brains bashing them for once.

So, thank you for being smart and degrading a band the correct way instead of going on about some mindless rambling. I thought it was funny and I will continue to represent Slipknot's maggots.

A Moshpit of Love.
Your friend, the Mallcore Kid

"Derek Hansell" <hanse700@umn.edu> - 21 Nov'05: I stumbled on your site while doing some research for a class. Since it’s yet another means to procrastinate, I thought I’d give you some feedback.

First off, I agree with some of the opinions on your site. I returned to rock music during the heyday of Rap-Metal acts like Limp Bizkit and Papa Roach. I was a fan of these bands for a while. I thought Three Dollar Bill, Y’all was an incredible album. Even now I think that there are some nuggets from that album that are lyrically inventive, but I feel that I’ve moved on to “better” music since I was twelve years old.

I don’t claim to be an expert on the history of metal, by any means. I’m not learned on the underground scene at all. I listen to several bands that I would consider “lesser-known,” and I definitely consider myself to be a music snob. But I’d like to point out, what I feel, are a few flaws in your logic about the Nu-Metal craze.

First off, a major criticism of yours is that people are music illiterate. I definitely agree with you. But, it’s not all their fault. You have to remember that there is a huge problem with the mass media these days, especially when it comes to the music industry. The outlets are few and far between that a person can get a broad and deep range of exposure to any genre music, not just metal. Radio is becoming a more and more consolidated industry, along with the recording industry. The play lists are getting shorter, and the number of radio stations owned by large corporations is ridiculous (ClearChannel case-in-point). There are fewer and fewer people making the decisions at the top and some of them are music illiterate themselves. For instance, the senior VP of A&R for Island Def Jam Music is Jeff Fenster. Fenster has a law degree, but is in no way qualified to choose which albums get made, except on the basis of whether or not they’ll make money. The record and radio companies are partially to blame for the general public’s lack of knowledge about some of the bands you mention in your Mall-Core Kid feature. For instance, I do think that Incubus is a good band, and no I didn’t know that there was a thrash metal band in Florida that had that name. But how on earth could I have known this unless I constantly trolled the internet looking for underground indie thrash metal bands?

Second, your biting criticism, as another commentator mentioned, is often based merely on your uneducated personal opinion, not any real kind of evaluation. Any truly thoughtful kind of criticism of the state of popular music should include a perspective from a variety of academic disciplines, such as musicology, sociology, and economics. Each of the bands that you trash on your site has some value to it, some sort of social capital; otherwise it wouldn’t even be worth mentioning. Even if it’s only worth to you is to provide subject matter for your website, it could be worth the world to someone else. I’m not attempting to defend crappy music here, I’m just pointing out that every song has some sort of worth to someone somewhere, though I often think that worth is derived from the mass media forcing it down our collective throats, or a record execs desire to make a buck. Still, why don’t you put some real thought into your parodies; then you might not come off sounding like an uninformed elitist prick.

Lastly, Cradle of Filth is black metal, what the hell does Eminem (who is an extremely talented lyricist) have to do with nu-metal, and some rap is good. Just some words of warning: your narrow-minded holier-than-thou attitude, along with your relatively uneducated opinion, means you’re going to miss out on a lot of good music.

PS: Incubus’s lyrical content is, at moments, extraordinary:

I bite my tongue every time you come around, ‘Cause blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground - “Blood on the Ground” – Morning View

Floating through this cosmic jungle, Here we are like frogs oblivious - “Warning” – Morning View

PPS: Maynard James Keenan is my hero.

PPPS: All your base are belong to us.

"~TaLeNa ~" <coxy_fourteen@hotmail.com> - 18 Nov'05: Bullshit about the Slipknot replies.1st off, what ever you said on your site is funny AND true. And I don't think it was Slipknot that replied 3 times to the feedback thing.. Well, it's pretty obvious it wasn't.

In the first one, ''Slipknot'' talks about his dad saying how Joey Jordison is the fastest drummer which is eventually bullshit, because Mr. Jordison himself, steals the shit off the drummer for The Melvins. Anyway, if that really was Slipknot, it's Corey who gave you feedback, because Corey is the only one in the band that speaks to people against Slipknot or making fun of Slipknot in anyway.. And poor Corey Taylor isn't even united with his dad.. He recently got re-united thank's to his wife Scarlett Taylor.

And if that was Sid Wilson emailing to you, it's bullshit because the 'knot can NEVER make fun of a country or it's peoples since well, england is where they have Maggots most I guess. As a Slipknot fan myself, I say some stuff Slipknot do is actually bullshit.

Oh and you should also try and mention how KiTTie have ripped off Slipknot with the following songs:

Brackish
Spit
Charlotte
And I bet many more.

Much love, Talena Standers

slick adkins <georgeadkins666@yahoo.com> - 2 Nov'05: Well, congradulations. Someone who actualy took the time to point out all the shit bands in "mainstream" music. Although, a few alterations seem to be needed, when describing "nu-metal". Korn was never nu-metal... they helped set a trend for rap-metal. a few pussys who just happened to like the way a distorted guitar sounded while rapping. Limp Wrist (Limp Bizkit) shouldnt even be put in ANY "metal" category. Though, I would have to agree with you COMPLETELY about Slip-n-suck (slipknot). No musical talent at all. Metallica should have retired after the Master of Puppets album. All in all, I agree with you about the whole "Wanna be Metal" bands. But, one can't stop time, nor can they change today's mainstream trends, cultures, ect. It doesnt do too much when it comes to complaining about the mainstream, or how music is changing. All we can do, is sit back, and listen to how Metal used to be. The solos, the light distortion, (and usualy), the standard "E" tuning. Well, keep up with the good work on the website.

"Dominic Robinson" <dominic28988@gmail.com> - 1 Nov'05: Dude, this site gave me a laugh and a half... I love Slipknot... But hey, I get worse shit than this at school. Im listening to Slipknot (If you think they are nu metal) as I am writing this. I dont get it with narrow-minded fuckers who cant take jokes. Im English too and I wish that twat posing as Sid Wilson would get his god-damn facts straight. His parents are English. I hate most Nu Metal bands such as Linkin PArk and Limp Bizkit...Im just asking, how could you even think that they are the same genre? I mean they are both heavy but they are polar opposites... Anyways,love your sit, please post this...

Keegan Kemege <kemege@gmail.com> - 31 Oct'05: HAILS! faithful Metal Soldier,

I just finished reading your well-composed and 100% accurate Nu-Metal guide, and I must say I give immense credit to you and your hilarious page. As the lists went on, so did my laughter. Though I do have to say my only criticism to your writings are the blatant (accidental, though, I'm sure) misspellings of bands like "Judas Preist" and "Dark Angle", as well as other typos; not necessarily of more bands, but in general. Though I do have to commend you for your time, effort, and dedication put into creating this amusing page, I just thought I'd like to address this to your attention. I'm sure others have probably already written to you before about this - but regardless, I'd still like to extend my appreciation to you. Thanks again. Stay True. - Keegan Kemege

"ingo" <padovano.e@neu.edu> - 28 Oct'05: This web-site was extremely hilarious, but more importantly the decriptions it gives about Nu-Metal and mallcore kids is 100% solid truth. The "Mall-core" guide pretty much describes (dead on) about 90% of todays "kids under 20" crowd who infest malls and highschools in this MTV fashion whore generation.

Nu Metal is without a doubt in my mind one of the worst forms of music ever devised, along with Metal-core, it has struck me as nothing more then a god awful, sellable/trendy gimmick marketed towards the goth crowd. I'm glad that there are some people out there that share this view, defenders of Nu Metal don't seem to realize they have been seriously duped into beliving that this is "music" is original or intelligent (like what most Slipknot fans think). I get a laugh out of all of the banal responses on this site from these morons that try to defend their shitty @$$ed mallcore bands that no one will listen too anymore in a few years. I remember when Slipknot first first came out in around 97 or 98 or so, and thinking they were absolute shit, same with any other band that has followed this trend, but Slipknot in particular is the most offensive. All of the sudden it was a pop-trend to walk around your highschool decked out in a Slipknot, Korn or Coal Chamber T-shirt in a little pack with your douche freinds. To all of these 8th graders who think Joey Jordison is some kind of drum god, please, wake up from dreamland, these posers have obviously never heard of Gene Hoglan, the sultan of extreme metal skin-bashing. I bet these Nu-Metal douches would run home, totally owned, and cry themselves to sleep if they were exposed to bands like Dark Angle, Possessed, Destruction, Vio-lence or Sodom.

The next thing that should get a bashing list though is the so-called "Metal-Core" genre, it is as horrendus as Nu-Metal is/was. It definatly deserves it, all of the kids who grew out of Nu Metal bands are now listening to the Metal-core bands like Lamb of God, Killswitch Engage, American Head Charge, Dry Kill Logic, Black Dahli Murder and other three letter named bands that sound utterly retarded.

I know i might sound biased because i only like 80s metal (not hair or glam however), but i think almost anyone with real taste in music can see how pathetic and lame Nu-Metal and Metal-Core bands are. Nevermind if 80s metal sounds outdated or "old"(a agrument used by most Nu-Metallers), the fact is that it required talent and skill to play, unlike todays metal, which requires minimal knowleged and practice to do. The fact that people today, 20 years later, still listen to Slayer, Iron Maiden, Kreator, Judas Preist, ect is evident of real metal's musical integrity, how can any of these Nu-Metal retards say anything about real metal being "stale", "boring" and "outdated"? Non of their sissy emo Nu-Metal/Metal-Core bands will have 20+ year careers.

In the words of Eric Adams of Manowar:

"Play it loud, don't play it low, blow your speakers with rock and roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!"

Brenden <woody@sk8parx.com> - 18 Oct'05: Rule 101 of nu-metal guide is misleading. I skateboard yet there is nothing I despise more than nu-metal and mallcore crap. Besides rule 101, the article was very amusing.

Mntyrbrt@aol.com - 16 Oct'05: Hi Your site is host to the worst opinions on Nu-metal I have seen in recent years. Just like every other site about nu-metal where people can post, "I like nu-metal because...." "Nu-metal sucks because: Proceeds with a lengthy Retarded a** explanation of why a particular nu-metal or Rap-rock band is milking everyone for what their worth, It's amazing how easy it is to be on the dark side of these web sites. "Yeah I Really think that linkin park and Limp bizkit suck, oh and POD, and ADEMA, because I am a whiney little brat who cant get what they want played on the radio every second of the day, and in the process loose site of the fact that every musical artist in recent history have too make money one way or another through their record sales!!! Let's dig deeper shall we!?!?!?

Well, Most of these Nu-metal bashers also cant seem to realize that almost any of the artists in the genre (Nu-metal/raprock). Have been recently some of the most successful artists in chart numbers, album sales, merchandise sales. Do they milk people? Sure they do. Why the hell would they not, in order to be an effective lengthy career lived musician it takes being a diligent business man or woman also. So this one is for the nu-metal bashers: Just remember how easy it is to just bash a musical artist by simply half-a**** listening or learning about them. Now you sit back and listen to Linkin park every now and then on the radio not caring one way or the other about them, which is fine. Then your friend, or, friends come up to you and their like: "Have you heard that "*ONE!*" Linkin Park song? They respond to your head exclaiming No by this: Oh yeah Easier to run sucks because of the guitar part. Then of course in your little sheep head you think yeah maybe he is right! Now your a strong believer in the ways of the anti-Nu-metal occult (ANO). Now you find yourself down the road in the year 2005, mind you the previous conversations took place in spring 2003. You of course, how predictably, wind up listening to the main streamed milk the teens for all their worth Emo-rock-indie-screamo- new-world order of modern music. HMMM!!! isn't this truly amazing that you, the same person who agreed with a friend that randomly bashed a Rap-rock band based on a single fact from a single song, is now in the "cool," listening crowd of Rock-Emo, being milked by the same people who are almost completely opposite of Nu-metal artists. Do you now see how the cycle of how music works!!??!!??

Do you also see how moronic people are towards music based on 1. No knowledge of the market. 2. No knowledge of a band that one criticizes based on slim or non-existent "factual" evidence. In the end (no pun intended) you will see how the Nu-metal bashers will end up in the same trend that over took us Nu-metal heads just under six years ago. Difference being is this, We now look back on the music fondly, even if it was only a five year trend, not dissimilar to that of the Grunge area, We liked the music for the music, we weren't worried about some artists out in L.A. Just taking a couple extra bucks to add interactive features on their CD, or a couple dollars extra for a shirt or a hat. No! because we understood that really doesn't matter it just goes to show you have more support and understanding for a musical group or artist than that of almost any Joe-schmoe, it also shows that you are not some ignorant Dumb-a** that assumes their head off about music left and right and in reality has not a single clue about the real multi-media market. I agree Nu-metal had its day and a few Nu-metal bands still potentially still have their days ahead of them, but most Nu-metal bands, and rap-rock groups were actually very smart, they had a small period for their Hay day but indeed made the most of it, now most of them are set up for the rest of their life in record sale status, Money, and artist recognition. That for which example many other "Rock or "Emo," bands had only a quick three to four month burst, from the years approximately 2002 to 2004 into late 5. They are now know mostly from all the people around me as "Oh yeah, OH MY GOD!! I remember that band they had that "ONE!" good song on that one really crappy CD. It is amazing how these cycles work in music trends and how they influence society's opinions on specific genres of music.

Now, one genre of music that deserves all my respect for having such a large foothold on the music scene since the early eighties is, Hip-hop/Rap. They are true successful geniuses not to mention in some ways creative ones to. So I guess I'll see you all over the next Musical trend wave. LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!! CLASSICAL PARTY WAVE!!!!!!! (just kidding I highly doubt Classical will impact the majority of CD buyers out there in recent time.)


E-mail (C) 2005 Random-Vomit House-Productions(non-profit Opinions Production Group) NPOPG Article typed and created by: Noah C.


I sincerely thank you for enduring that highly heated opinion article. I would greatly appreciate if this were to be posted on your site. I Grant you full permission to edit this type except within the confine of my name, my name must be given credit to the original draft. I expect no money from you to display this publicly nor privately. I do not authorize you to make money off this E-mail however. Everything will be great, assuming it is kept on a non-profit basis, conformation Email will be appreciated.
Thank You very much:
Your's truly:
Noah C.

Stephen Straka <madcat42@gmail.com> - 10 Oct'05: First off, I must say that Linkin Park is my favorite band. They rule completely as far as I'm concerned.

Second off, your guide was "@#%$"ing hilarious! It was the perfect parody of the nu-metal genre. Of course, I'll still love LP and other nu-metal bands but that won't stop me from laughing my ass off when I read that article. I must complement you on your excellent work.

But admit it. Deep down, you guys really love nu-metal. ;)

Final note: a huge "FUCK YEAH!" to Side Project.

"Van Heerden D <14639564@sun.ac.za> - 28 Sep'05: I love your site - I'm sick to death of post-hardcore/nu-metal/death-pop or whatever the Hell else they want to call themselves, and it's great to have some laughs to make up for all the aggravation.

Keep up the good work!

"Nathan Merry" <rippa32@hotmail.com> - 25 Sep'05: I noticed in your Nu-Metal articel that you insinuated that Ozzy Osbourne is Nu-Metal. This is most definately not the case. When he sang for Black Sabbath that was Hard Rock and his solo career was 80's metal.

"piet guilfoyle" <pietg@hotmail.com> - 25 Sep'05: What the hell, you cant knok slipknot by saying:

3) It doesn't matter if you can't play guitar, as the sound will be tinny and unrecognisable anyway.
" Firstly Mick Thompson one of Slipknots guitarists it rated 82 in the top 100 best guitarists.

5) Play the drums as if you are Animal from The Muppets, a sense of rhythm is not required.
" Secondly Joey Jordison is an abouslute god on drums he could be one of the best in metal

Lastly what gives you the right to knock slipknot so what if they wear ridiculous masks its not like they actully are think they satanists or crazy people its just for publicity and all of the guys in slipknot are actually normal people. And dont go knocking people bands publicly i bet more people like slipknot than they like you

"Rafael Hilario Dipre Geraldino" <rafael_dipre@hotmail.com> - 26 Aug'05: Hello,my name is Rafael and i'd like to point out i don't live in the states,i live in the Dominican Republic.

And i gotta,i laughed my ass of for a good half hour with everything i read on this website,then showed it to a couple of my buddies and got the same reaction,even here,down in the caribbean we got "the mallrat disease",with kids who listen to some music they refercto as "the heaviest shit" (generally Slipknot and Korn).And you're guide to mallcore kids was DEAD ON!,good stuff,man.

I'd also like to point out that in my humble and personal opinion people are entitled to hear whatever the hell thgey want and tickles their fancy,but when you try to demonstrate the "supremacy" of the music you hear you're just making an ass for yourself.

I'd also like to say i'm a nu-metal man myself,but you'll never see me make an ass of myself discussing with someone as of why my people is better than theirs.

Btw,the only part i didn't like,was when they dissed tool,it's my favorite band and i personally think they're talented,not only because their sound is different,but because Maynard is a great lyricist.

Every type of music is cool,even if it IS commercial,you simply shouldn't make an ass of yourself trying to impose your POV on others.

"Jack Le Couteur" <stick_figure_coots@hotmail.com> - 22 Aug'05: Dear Sir (you deserve the title),

Thank you for illustrating the point. How can one call "genres" like "nu-metal" "gangsta rap" and "emo" styles of music when their followers are so concerned about their representation in the world that styles of dress, dance and manufactured attitudes toward life become more important to them than the notes being played by their idol bands and in many cases the lyrics being sung? It becomes even funnier when their dress, dance, attitude etc is just nonsensical crap.

I don't belong to a single musical school of thought. A lot of the stuff that I listen to is associated by those who belong to "the non-conformist youth" with pretentious elitists (The stuff I mostly listen to includes late romantic music eg Debussy, Ravel etc, also jazz-rock fusion such as Weather Report and the Dregs, through to blues-rock such as (of course) Led Zep and Deep Purple, and a large amount of progressive rock including pretty much everything from Pink Floyd, Yes and Kings Crimson through Rush to Dream Theater and Symphony X, though the complete list of my favourite kinds of
music is incomplete). I think that's inaccurate, I don't walk about saying my musical tastes are somehow better than everyone else's because perhaps I
can see more musicality in what I listen to (Philip Glass was a great composer and there wasn't that much to his music), or for whatever other reason. But I will say this:You should listen to music because of the individual effect it has on you, not because of the group you become associated with for doing it or because it matches your fashion or because it makes you feel unique from everyone else, and not even because it's the "fastest shredding", or "it's the hardest sh*t". If you don't follow that statement then there are two obvious consequences:
1) I have the right to be elitist, because I've put much more thought into what I listen to than you have.
2) You will look and behave like a complete goober and websites like this will have enormous amounts of fun at your expense.

Keep up the good work,

Jack (By the way, I'm 18 and play guitar and keyboards in a large number of styles (including metal and pop) and have done so for most of my life, so if you respond to this post DON'T question my musicality or dismiss my comments as the ramblings of an old fart)

"Ron Sterns" <restlessone781@hotmail.com> - 7 Aug'05: I thought that 100% of all the "101 Rules of Nu-Metal" and "131 Ways to Tell You're a Mallcore Kid" were dead-on! I especially laughed at number 11 on the Mallcore Kid list (You assume that if someone doesn't like Slipknot, they must listen to "pussy stuff like N'sync"), I only laughed at it because it was so true. You pretty much hit the nail on the head with every single one of those. They're all true, and there's at least a multitude of nu-metal fans and mallcore kids, who could fit into at least one of those.

I've run into idiots who've called me a "conformist" or a "republican" after I tell them that there's better bands than Slipknot. I've encountered idiots who shop at trendy stores like Hot Topic, and claim to call themselves "non-conformist" then run away and hang out with their mallcore friends who look, act,and dress just like them. I've run into half of the kinds of people mentioned in both of those lists, and I think the fact that you're getting countless emails from idiots who're pissed that you're bashing their "lifestyle" or their favorite band, proves that you're doing the rest of us rock and metal fans a big favor.

"Scut" <enforsaken@comcast.net> - 29 Jul'05: i just wanted to say this...(you should put this as your number one response bright and bold)

i love how people are trying to sound all bold and smart and shit...starting out their sentences and trying to flow their sentences with phrases such as " I believe..." and 'larger words' for example "representation" and alot of it isnt proper english at all haha. all saps tryin to look smart and shit and not saying anything. anyway...id personally like to note that this site is not only hilarious..BUT TRUE. yeah im open-minded as hell...but when youre so into conformity,...that you can fit the majority of a certain list (lists i might add that are exceeding 50 suggestions) of stereotypes , you deserve it. i hate fake people. good youre into that band? i dont give a fuck but when i start noticing shit like..hey i met about 3,000 kids just like you.... its like man who are you tryin to impress, cause you look like youre just asking to get made fun of to me. shit you like SOAD? thats cool. but i swear if you name the same 3 "favorite songs" that the last kid and that other kid claimed as their favorite...im not going to spare you any time. its hard to put into words, but are you following? just one more thing...btw "sids" response....what the fuck is a moran? i have enough respect for sid to say that isnt sid typing that response at all. no 25+ year old types like that haha. "oMg ~*LOLZ*~ MORAN" .

"Sue Larsen" <blacksheep@gcnet.com> - 21 Jul'05: Dear website,

I have read what you have to offer and I must say, you do have a few good points. As for myself, I love nu-metal and believe it has massive potential. You did point out a few consistencies that are highly common amongst this genre of music. I do understand that ever since the arrival of nu-metal it has gotten nothing but crap from those who are into heavier genres of music. The only thing that I have a problem with is that every band you mention for being typical… breaks your MUST rules and something you are calling them on, are things that many do naturally or don’t do at all. Example:

Slipknot: you make claims about how a band can never solo yet sure enough… Mick is playing-a-way with solos.

Fender and Ibanez are indeed very common guitars, however a more common one is B.C. Rich, which makes a VERY good guitar (I have heard complaints about the action being a bit high, but I hate low actions, it may be easier to play but buzzes from the strings hitting the frets can get kinda annoying)

Not all bands use pedals now-a-days, in fact a lot of player prefer boards. More effects, less room.

Can you blame them for hating Brittany (mostly with Durst, but I don’t listen to him). As for MTV, the fact that they manipulated and changed genres with the public does not bother (and I hate rap, R&B, hip-hop). The fact that they still take on the image of “Music Television” yet have more Reality TV then Fox is vastly more disturbing,

If I may one last note, I agree with Richard Detrick, Chuck Berry is defiantly worth admiring. I BELIEVE (meaning I could be very wrong) that he contributed to rock simply by his wide use of power chords (root 5th root).

I did enjoy the list, the fact that you take a non-partisan view towards all forms of metal and rock is commendable (just be careful, many ignorance=bliss types take it in forms other then it’s comical intentions, that means those who both hate and love nu-metal)

Amanda Schramke <corpsexart@yahoo.com> - 18 Jul'05: If only every Nu Metal, Hot Topic dwelling, 14 year old kid would read your website..

Ignorance is taking the world by storm and what pisses me off the most about these kids is their ignorance of 'real' metal. Oh, and that they think they're being discriminated because of how they dress and that people think they look "threatening," although, they actually just look fucking retarded. Of course you're going to get dirty looks if you walk into the mall wearing a Slipknot tee with a fish net shirt under it, HUGE fucking pants, and tons of rubber braclets.. and not to forget the obscure makeup and glitter! I like how you guys incoporated the whole music aspect of being "mallcore" into it, which is of course the main part. I've never seen any Korn fans not dress like that (and sheesh, does it feel weird to write the word "Korn").. Do mallcore kids even listen to music? I was arguing with one today, actually.. She claimed one of her favorite bands to be Satyricon.. so I asked her.. "What's your favorite Satyricon album?" and she said.. "Who?" what the fuck.. That makes absolutely no sense.

Anyway, the point of this email was to say that I appreciate what you guys are doing.. Hopefully some one who listens to Nu Metal reads it and actually thinks about it.

So thank you :) - Amanda

jonathan moron <jonathan_moron@yahoo.com> - 07 Jul'05: SLIPKNOT IS MY FAVORITE BAND MY NUMBER ONE BAND MY IDOL IS JAMES ROOT(4)COREY TAYLOR IS COOL IM TRING TO GET A T-SHIRT FROM SLIPKNOT BUT MY MOM WON'T LET BECAUSE THEIR MASK SHE SAYS IT UGLY AND SCARY I JUST GOT THE NEW CD OF SLIPKNOT WELL GOT TO GO LATER

Brandon Hall <blackslash2005@yahoo.com> - 07 Jul'05: Your guides are the greatest exposure guides EVER written. I have never laughed at something so hard. Dark Rose's response was comedy platinum! Metal NEVER died nor did any other music genre.There are people that like actually GOOD music. These people who constantly who whine and cry about how there is no good music are just as ignorant as the people who churn out terrible music, movies, television series and any other form of entertainment that churns out crap and whines people don't like it.

All of you people who whine about how there is no good music and have a computer with Internet access, or have access to a damn store,Quit being such stupid crybaby pantywastes. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE! This generation of music fans has MORE ACCESS to music than ANY generation before them. Is it that hard to ask for a CD or look up even AMAZON who have a lot of bands BUT THEIR REVIEWS ARE FOR COMEDY RELIEF ONLY! I mean you can't think of 1 or more words that will actually turn up something you might like? You do not have to be 30 or 40 years old to know a lot about music or find cd's, although you will think you are when you listen to some of these bands. You will be surprised what you turn up with random words. And if you think
won't, try it. Just look up the word "Black" and you will get THOUSANDS of results.

I LOVED ALL OF YOUR GUIDES. They are the best exposure guides EVER written. The sad part about the responses is the fact that people who claim all of the nu metal bands are metal and claim bands from the past are too old AND the person with the most recent post whining about the guide Oh boo hoo, you think it's sad he exposed the truth? It's even sadder you responded.

The truth of the matter is people actually like music THEY enjoy and want to buy and KEEP. No matter the status or age of the band or the music. I'm 19 years old, I started experimenting with both rock and metal when I was around 14. I was raised on mostly mainstream rap and R&B, I got tired of it after YEARS of listening to some artists who put out a 20 song album full nothing more than horse vomit! I got sick of wasting my allowance and time trying to swallow bore fests of albums that old after a month. While I have a much more mature attitude today. I still find myself really staying away from rap and nu metal. But nothing beats old school such as the Isley brothers, Natalie Cole or Teddy Pendergrass.

I've taken it on myself to write a or rules of RAP and a "BET-core" kid/teen" guide similar to to the gothic and mallcore kid guide. So far I only have 21
rules for the rap guide that literally hit the nail on the head.

I swear to you, having being raised on it and seen and heard many rappers, I know this genre in and out,and how almost ALL of these mainstream rappers work.

I will submit what I have to your site soon. Be prepared for the merciless onslaught of rap fans that will respond with sentences that make a kindergarten daily journal look like college literature. You thought the nu metal kiddies were bad? You haven't seen anything yet until you have seen whiny betcore
rap fans who can't stand to have their music bashed, but are quick to bash any other genre.

"bassoon333@juno.com" <bassoon333@juno.com> - 03 Jul'05: Freaking hilarious dude. I don't dig Slipknow, but corey and Joey are good at what they do, so I was offended there. But joey as the best drummer ever? Heh heh, come on!! Lars, Vinnie, Portnoy, I mean, there are worse (Whitestripes), but there are MUCH better. Geez. Thanks for the laughs! You're the man!!!

Mark
www.anfangband.com

Bob <notoriousbob975@yahoo.com> - 29 Jun'05: i've been looking for someone to agree with me one issues like the following:

96. You think Cradle Of Filth is black metal.

yeah.

i can't STAND this nu-metal family-friendly bullshit they're making now. the funny thing is, i know a bunch of mallcore kids that listen to Manson and say they're hardcore. i know people who believe themselves to be blackmetal fans, but it's not like we could talk about our favorite track on Transylvanian Hunger or Damned In Black. not even Anthems To The Welkin At Dusk.

but, on the subject of black metal, could you answer me a question?

why does everyone like Burzum? i know he was a pioneer, but what i've heard has really just been unlistenable.

118. You think Deicide is the most Satanic band in the world.

i saw some guy with a Deicide shirt at my highschool, and i went up to him to talk about it, he was like "MAN DEICIDE IS THE MOST SATANIC BAND EVER." i told him to try Gorgoroth or Arkhon Infaustus. he had never heard of either one. we went on to discuss death metal and apparently his perception of the scene is Deicide and Morbid Angel. maybe as "underground" as Cattle Decapitation. even the FANS can't get it right.

people disgust me.

"nik" <nietinterresant@tiscali.be> - 25 Jun'05: i think slipsnot = shit. thre drummer isnt that good they have actually three. I once saw on mtv (coincedence) a show of them and i saw three drummers .I also saw a dj and I think that in all nu-metal bands the only one who plays live is the dj ( some one has to insert the cd)

"Richard Detrick" <richard.detrick@gmail.com> - 29 May'05: I don’t know who is sadder, the webmaster for wasting the time to write this garbage; because I am sure that some person with more time than me could come up with a reasonably funny 101 list for his “real” metal,

OR - The twits that take this shit seriously and get pissed about some of the things he is writing. Big fucking deal he insulted Slipknot. You are supposed to be a non-conformist(that kinda means not giving a shit about what others say)!

But anyhow, it’s all funny to read. And if you want something good to listen to, go listen to some Robert Johnson, or Chuck Berry. And no one gives a shit about who is a faster drummer! Get over it everyone.

"Mitch seldenthuis" <neveraellyawake@hotmail.com> - 03 May'05: I just really want to thank you for that parody on nu-metal (which has its good points every now and then) because of all the referances you made to true metal bands. I started off with Mettalica (master of puppets) and moved into AC/DC, then hatebreed, found no satisfaction there, and finnaly found my true calling in music; Slayer, Lamb of God, Judas Priest, Children of Bodom, and i'm still searching for more metal along the thrash/speed lines, and I'll alwas jump at the chance for some death meatl as well. As to the Mallcore kid stuff, it's sad how many of todays youth are like that, believing in posers and trusting whatever the're told. And the fake rebbelion is the worst part! Fuck, i've ben through clinnical deppresion (no shit) and anyone who says the're depreseed should die. It's not a "thing that makes you cool", It's a disease. I attacked my dad with knives because i couldn't control my anger through depression. I thought Hatebreed ruled then, but I moved on, and now 15, I play bass and worship all bands that deserve to be called metal. All this poser bullshit is horrible for people like me, because metal isn't music, IT'S A WAY OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!! ~Mitch

"Mike Smith <ragnvald@gmail.com> - 02 May'05: IHAHAHAHA i laughed SOOOO hard when i read the response about how the drummer from slipknot is the fastest drummer in the world or whatever it was. that guy needs to check out skinless, absu, nile, origin, cryptopsy, crimson moonlight, antestor, the legion, pretty much ANY band that has blast beats is faster than slipknot. ANY black metal band, any REAL death metal band, and any grind or goregrind band has a better and faster drummer than slipknot. maaybe they're the fastest in mainstream, but who cares about mainstream music?

p.s. oh man. how could i forget about the berzerker?! the berzerker is one of the fastest bands in the world...infact, i'm pretty sure THIER
drummer holds the world record for the fastest single stroke double bass right now. look it up. there's some cold hard proof that slipknot's drummer, while talented, he is relatively slow in the world of metal.

"eric" <ericmyke@hotmail.com> - 21 Apr'05: Good description of a caricatural kind of music that is pompously called Nu-Metal. Nu-Metal is not True Metal -- Up the Irons

Ned Fellman <nef1619@yahoo.com>- 19 Apr'05: Hating Nu Metal - I have just 3 things to say:

1. I hate nu metal. It is for posers.
2. I like eating pussy more than getting a bj. Go figure.
3. If I ever get in the same room with the fags from Rage Against the Machine, I'm going to break all of their arms and legs using Brazilian Ju-Jitsu moves that I learned from watching UFC over and over a hundred times.

"Melissa Savisky" <Moomoogrl88@msn.com> - 05 Apr'05: Hey, I enjoyed your how to be nu-metal thing. Even though I love nu-metal. But the point is, that I don't think Mudvayne or Slipknot should be in that category. Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit don't sound anything like them in my opinion, because they rap a lot more and the sound is different. My point is, that Mudvayne and Slipknot are both very talented, although I do feel Mudvayne is more talented. I mean, Slipknot is my second favorite band but I still don't get why there are 9 people ya know? Ryan Martinie, Mudvayne's bassist, is very talented...Their drummer, Matt Mcdonough, is also. Plus, you actually need talent to play in odd time signatures, and since they have long ago lost the makeup, they are showing that the makeup didn't define them, but it was more of the theatrical aspect of the performance. Mudvayne isn't one of those crappy, I hate my life bands. They make their songs have deeper meanings, and also a positive side. All in all though, I liked the list, especially the mallcore kid one. The emo and hardcore ones were my favorite though. I do have two questions, why did you waste your time writing about something that you hate ? Just seems kind of dumb. And do you like any sort of metal or rock music? Because it seems like you bashed many of them. I was just wondering.

"Byrne, Rohan" <RohanBy@ggscorio.vic.edu.au> - 04 Apr'05: Rage against the machine in nu metal and I kicks ass

"Isobel HIE" <isobel.hie@cegetel.net> - 30 Mar'05: ho ho ho this site is spot on

boo hoo i hate the world
wheres my facepaint what time is dad picking me up

ron.vanderven@videotron.ca - 24 Mar'05: Hey dude - You claim that your site is for the purpose of humor and comical value, but the fact is that you are still making fun of the bands, joking ro not, by reading this, ignorant peopel will hate the band(s).
Either way, i still agree that "Nu-Metal" is crappy. MM, limp bizkit, linkin park, and korn do suck. but slipknot....no, man, just cuz they wear masks and such doesnt mean they suck. its like thats your only offense to making fun of them. I'm not impressed (yea, and i dont care if you dont care that im nto impressed, because all im saying si that you're a whiny ignorant fuck, BUT ANYWAY),
Slipknot may have blowed at first, but every band grows, and evevolves as a band. Unfortuantely for korn limp mm and all those other bands, they went straight downhill (except soad also).
slipknto grew up, growing away fromt he rap sound. they now have inspirational lyrics that mean something. oh, and for the record, there arnt as many songs by slipkntot hat u think that have lyrics that are depressing or about killign themselves. there's maybe 2 or 3, BUT NEWSFLASH FUCKER, all metal bands do it.
i could go on and on, but i'd rather finish this off with this:
I think you have a point about Nu Metal. it is widely mass marketted, its shit, and has no artistic value, but whats wrong witht hsi site is that you have nothing to back up anything written here. do some research and stop making assumptions.
Stay [sic] fucker

"antonio maaaaate" <antonio_467@hotmail.com> - 24 Mar'05: hi, i must admit, that article thing was rather amusing, i myself like some nu-metal bands, but i do also like thrash metal and 80s metal bands. i just wanted to say the guy claiming to be sid wilson...is bagging out british people....even tho sid wilson's parents were from england.... anyone who gets to offended by someone rippin on there music is a pussy. i found it funny, and i think you researched the genre an found the steriotypes an used them well. thanks for a rather amusing read - antonio

"Keith Brewster" <"c..brewster"@sympatico.ca> - 23 Mar'05: I came across your site tonight, and laughed all the way through the "Becoming Nu-Metal" sections. One thing that I did have an opinion on however, was in the "131 Ways To Tell You're A Mallcore Kid". I don't see how you can classify Pantera into "Nu-Metal", when songs such as "Fucking Hostile" and "Domination" reigned as some of the greatest thrash metal hits of the 80's. System Of A Down can be classified into "Nu-Metal", but you also must take into consideration that unlike other "Nu-Metal" bands, they have created their own distinct sounds, and are completely original from any other modern bands. While other crappy "metal posing" bands lyrics go about as deep as "I'm so depressed, I want to kill myself", System Of A Down shares opinions on current events, and gives people a deeper insight about what's happening around them. I'll agree that Mallcore kids who only listen to it because they think it's "the latest fad, it's so cool", and instead don't understand the true representation of the lyrics, need to learn what makes good music. And just because Cannibal Corpse didn't start death metal doesn't mean they're a crappy band. They didn't "revolutionize" anything, but rather brought their own sound into the genre. I definately agree with the statement that people automatically assume they like a genre, because someone they know has transferred to it (ie. Phil Anselmo's side projects "Viking Crown" and "Superjoint Ritual"), it's ridiculous. It's like the kids who got all hyped up and automatically assumed Jay-Z was cool because he did a collaboration with Linkin Park. Hell, if he hadn't done that, the kids would say: "Holy crap dood, Jay-Z bites my left testicle. Don't get me wrong by my e-mail, thinking I hardcore listen to the bands I've mentioned, to set the records straight my favourite bands include: Sepultura, Morbid Angel, Death, Pantera, Exodus (some), Lamb Of God, Children Of Bodom, Metallica (old), Slayer, Gorerotted, Napalm Death, and Burn The Priest.

"jim and callye rose gibbons" <jcrgibbons@aristotle.net> - 23 Mar'05: hey- there is so much truth to what you said about slipknot. . . im sick and tired of these frickin preps who think they are hardcore because they listen to slipknot. . . .also, slipknot isnt metal, they are rock. to the person whose father said that Joey was the best/ fastest drummer he had ever heard, i encourage you to listen to Children of Bodom, Slayer, and Behemoth. The drummers in those bands would eat Joey for lunch, and crap him back out. . . he is not metal. after Curt Cobain (Nirvana) started using power chords, the talent level took a nose dive. . . Curt's music was different, everyone else is just a cheap ripoff of what he did. anyone that has played guitar for 1 1/2 yrs ( maybe even just 1) can now be considered "professional". I play lead guitar in a band, and alot of people who hear me play give me the " wow, youre great. . . .*blah blah blah*" bull crap. Ive played for four years and i still am learning new things every day. and also. . . to all the preps that i offended. . . im sorry, but listen to some REAL metal.
Peace- "Shred"

"Brent A" <lordraven41@hotmail.com> - 13 Feb'05: There are is a lot of truth and humor to your rules of numetal (btw the rules of black metal was really awesome so good job on that if you wrote those that cracked me up big time). However, don't you think the term numetal is way to over used? It seems like anytime a band starts to break out of their underground status or gets one video on Headbanger's ball (which I think has some good stuff), they are automatically labeled numetal. Btw, what is up with putting pantera under numetal. If anything I would consider the 80's hair metal bands the equvailient to numetal back then not pantera (well other then the their short little glam metal period)

"Fernando Cheppe" <angeldemoniaco@hotmail.com> - 16 Feb'05: nu metal not only sucks... is also gay... I don't know if you have seen this page: Korn: http://www.metalsludge.com/main/index.php?module=subjects&func=viewpage&pageid=493

Here you'll find some pics of this nu metal heroes (???) in the beginning of their careers... Thrash Till Death, Keep The Metal Faith Alive & Let it Flow...

Fernando Cheppe Castillo - METAL FROM PERU

"Carol" <winski@cox.net>- 03 Feb'05: Thankyou very much for exposing the truth to people about these mallcore kids. I walk around school all day with people saying me and friends are gothic for wearing Death --- Kreator ---- and Destruction patches on our backpacks - they believe that Kreator is the only one that's a band. I spend half of my lunch period helping some younger kids experience true metal such as 80's Sepultura - very happy you mentioned that-- - these young ones have become my Slaves of pain --- My band plays early 80's thrash - and everyone goes crazy at shows and thinks wow yall are talented with solos and such - and this makes us sad to know that our generation has never experienced so many great bands just like us that were big in the 80's and died with the rise of emotional problems in the 90's - we are all 17 therefore too young to have experienced these great bands first hand - but we have found them through our constant search for better metal in the past few years and have done enough searching to get our hands on some of the greats of that time period -- thanks for exposing the hell in which we live today --- CYLA --- www.freewebs.com/cylaweb/ www.myspace.com/chokeyourlastally

"Deadhouse band from Detroit" - 31 Jan'05: If it was up to you metal would of died in the 80's.metal is expanding, just like any other genra of music, david hasselhoff is doing a project with ice t,WTF.the fact that crunchy guitars are finding there way to artists like alanis morisette is awsome, it means metal will live forever(dispite youre imature opinion and youre disability to see the evelution of music)and will probably lead to a 'nu' era of brutal music.......by the way slipknot has been around for almost 10 years..and without bands like them,,metal would be dead..and you would love it....good charolette, green day , nirvanna , new found glory, and all these boy band homos would be no where without metal...not to mention decades of studio inovation that metal bands have evolved.its gonna take some time for all you metal h8ters to understand how much metal music has changed the face of music.and p.s. liknkin park suxs ass. anyone who considers bands like this "metal' is fucking moron in the first place...

[a few minutes later....]

Making music is a good thing, so just because you cant actually play anything, dont h8 on people who actually can.if youre a teen who lives with mommy and daddy,youre opinion=shit.bands like slipknot have been working hard for alot longer than you think.try getting as big as slipknot,its not easy,100's of 1000's of people love them, wonder why, cause they have talent and raw energy, without slipknot who would you have to talk about, loser.get a life and move out of your parents house....good charolette sux,so does linkin park, you stick to youre goverment approved rock and roll, ill listen to music with real issues.youre all idiots without musical ability...good luck.

ChevielleBlue@aol.com - 27 Jan'05: This is coming from a nu-metal fan and actually, it's not bashing the site either! I openly agree that the people who restrict themselves to only nu-metal then say that they are something special is down right pathetic. Basically, I'm a fan of most types of music - rock, rap, metal, nu-metal, classical, pop, others. Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to is that I'm glad that someone is finally knocking some sense into the minds of little noobies shits that think that "SlipKnoT" and "Marilyn Manson" are oh so very gothic! Now, I'll openly admit, I show a few of those mallcore signs myself, but in turn I think a lot of people do whether they admit it or not.

"Justin Sears" <j_88@hotmail.com>- 14 Jan'05: aaaaaaaah that guide was freakin hilarious! i like the "first" (actually second, you knobs) linkin park cd. i dunno bout puttin pantera in there....but hey i didnt make the site! people bash nu metal, people say "props to nu metal!" i really dont care. i still like some korn songs a lot of system of a down, some old linkin park. but i find great humour in all the jests that you posted on the site. nu metal is good, just like the rest of it. the older guys just know what sounds a whole lot different and appeals to them. i'll listen to sabbath, i'll listen to linkin park, i'll listen to metallica and arch enemy and children of bodom and i'll even try to sing along! so appreciate all metal, but DAMN you had some of the funniest sht i've read on music EVER. and as for slipknot having the best drummer: there was a statement about someone's drummer dad saying that he's the fastest. wanna know why he said that? i'll tell you; because its the ONLY fast drumming he's heard in the last 10 years is my bet, unless he himself is into metal or speed punk and whatnot. if you check back here (and anyone that's interested) check out these speed freaks: amon amarth, arch enemy, children of bodom, anthrax, slayer, shadows fall, celtic frost, napalm death, and most good metal bands. w00t to this site, it was worth reading! and emo isnt for everyone, just the emotionally distraught :P

"JOSE HERNANDEZ" - 13 Jan'05: One to the super guide: I got to say this website is great? It's humor from wall to wall, I mean I liked and still like some of the nu metal bands like deftones, disturbed, and soulfly. (and I use to like linkin park) but I never got into the whole dress code or attitude crap. I have no piercings or tats and never done drugs. But, man this really made me realize how bored I must have been to like crap like this. I guess because it just came and it was there it might have hooked on to me or something, but if I was waking, this website helped out a lot it was a clean shot to the face. and i bet this site must've already shaken up some people to realize the crap they're hooked on. The only thing that I wan't you to do is start with the next thing which is this abnoxious horrofic trend called emo aka pop/punk I mean these idiots cry on stage. If nu metal had the saggy pants, emo has these really sufficating tight pants and small little t-shirts. These gays i mean guys think they're buff with these little shirts. I think it's time to show these ass clowns the crap they worship. All I know is that all these emo idiots idolize that moron Ashton kootcher or however you spell his last name. while your at it do the indy rock too that crap is just as annoying.

anyway keep up the good work
always believe
warrior