Welcome to the Nu-Metal debate. What is
it about Nu-Metal that divides so much opinion? So just to add
fuel to the fire, please enjoy what I think makes the ultimate
Nu-Metal band.
Yes, that's right
people it's a breakdown on how formulatic Nu-Metal used to be
back in the old days (because Nu-Metal is now DEAD)
WARNING:If you are offended by Nu-Metal Parodies, then please
leave this Guide NOW! If you take this Guide seriously, then
you have missed the point.
Limp Bizkit: Rollin'
Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' (repeat to fade)
The late-nineties saw witness to the rise in number of
"nu-metal" bands. Look a the US rock scene - everyone
and their Grandma are downtuning their guitars and wearing baggy
pants. Thanks to Korn's rise to superstardom, Limp Bizkit taking
over the airwaves and Linkin Park turning teeny poppers into
fashion victims, more and more untalented musicians are turning
to rap-rock, death-pop, or whatever they call this genre for
easy money.
By following these simple and easy to
follow guide you too can form your own nu-metal band, musical
proficiency not needed.
1) You must cover an 1980s novelty song for your debut
release. This is not an option
2) You need a gimmick. This is essentially important
for the vocalist (they're not singers) be it bullied at school,
self-mutilation, playing the bagpipes or spooky appearance.
3) Recruit a female bassist. This will lead to initial
magazine exposure before the critics notice you can't actually
play. By this time you will have built up a hardcore following
of teenage boys.
4) Write some songs. About 12 will fill up an album.
Don't worry about B-Sides, use crap remixes instead. A whole
remix album would be perfect!
5) Incorporate a trendy DJ member into the band for
that 21st Century feel.
6) Claim to be "down" with your fans. Express
your thoughts on topics you have no clue about such as the Presidential
elections and rage how much Britney Spears sucks. Never speak
up about anything remotely important.
7) Recruit lots of band members. About eight or nine
is about right. Having three members is so passe nowadays.
8) Request famed nu-metal produced Ross Robinson to
produce your debut. He will declare it to be most intense, pissed-off
music ever released. Until the next one.
9) Claim Black Sabbath are your favourite band. Even
if you've never heard of them, it's just cool to declare the
Brummies as 'gods'.
10) Get the music press to compare your band to the
Deftones and Tool and moan about how much you hate the comparisons.
Put across that your own band are here to save music from all
the rubbish currently in the charts even if your band are indeed
rubbish.
You have not completed the 10 steps to becoming a trendy
US nu-metal band. Go forth and sell one million copies of your
debut album to the America youth and then disappear.
Become
the next "Slipknot" *
Slipknot: God
I'm boiling in this god-damn mask!
"It's like a scary version
of Kiss" - Slipknot are THE noise of the new millennium
and what better way to celebrate by forming your own tribute
band. Don't put too much effort into it as by following these
easy steps world domination will be yours.
1) Wear frankly ridiculous masks that are far more
attractive than your own features complimented with a contrived
stage uniform. Choose boiler suits - they are cheap and require
minimum effort.
2) Recruit as many friends as your have - nine should
do. In case you fall short, grab unsuspecting victims off the
street. And of course, musical ability is inessential.
3) It doesn't matter if you can't play guitar, as the
sound will be tinny and unrecognisable anyway. If you can't hear
the bassist, all the better.
4) Don't forget to add annoying DJ scratching over
the top of said noise. Why? Who cares! The kids will just love
it?
5) Play the drums as if you are Animal from The Muppets,
a sense of rhythm is not required.
6) Tape approximately four minutes of noise and give
it a title. It doesn't matter if you cannot reproduce the noise
onstage, as fans will be too overpowered by your "madcap"
live show to realise.
7) Most important rule - get Ross Robinson to produce
said noise. Why not jump on the bandwagon as everything Mr Robinson
does is hailed as a masterpiece.
8) Swear constantly throughout interviews and state
how F**KING INTENSE everything is (even if you're a nice homeboy
really)
9) Make sure onstage entertainment is increased by
getting band members to beat each other with some frozen cow
heads, just for, you know, sheer delight.
10)Congratulations, you are now Slipknot!
* Mushroomhead were rumoured to have used
these tips (or was it the other way round....!)
The 101 Rules of Nu-Metal
These are the latest set of rules needed to start
your own nu-metal band. There is a lot of truth in rules #7 #66
#78 #98 and of course #101. Be your own judge.
1. When asked who your musical influences are, say Black Sabbath
-- always Black Sabbath.
2. Make sure you don't sound like Black Sabbath at all even though
you said that they're your musical influences.
3. Make fun of popular music especially Britney Spears and any
boyband. This is non-negotiable.
4. When conducting interviews always say the words "@#%$",
"fag", and "@#%$".
5. Accept interviews only from the following music magazines:
Metal Edge, Revolver, Alternative Press, Hit Parader, Guitar
World, Kerrang! and Rolling Stone.
6. Pay them $50 to mention the word "metal" in correlation
with your music, in every single interview.
7. Add another $50 if they are able to invent a new genre dedicated
solely to your band -- ie. Death Metal Disco (Static X), Melodic-core
(Thursday), Christian Rap Metal (POD).
8. Make sure that at least one of your band members have an existing
side project, or at least planning to start one.
9. Ask your mom to go to the nearest "Ross" beauty
shop to buy six boxes of Lander hair gel.
10. Use the word "gay" when referring to anything you
don't like.
11. No guitar solos.
12. Your drumming techniques must consist of "bass-snare,
bass-snare" drumming only.
13. In order for your bassist to win a "Best Bass Player
Award", make sure that they...
14. ...are female or...
15. ...use the "slap and pop" playing style.
16. Jump in the air while playing your guitar, and while in mid-air
place the guitar on your side.
17. During concerts, ask your audience to sing along...
18. ...jump up and down...
19. ...put their hands in the air...
20. ...flash their middle-fingers...
21. ...and be careful not to hurt each other.
22. In the liner notes of your album, dedicate it to your parents,
and to more than 15 different nu-metal bands with at least 4
bands which you borrowed your sound from.
23. Your second album must be weaker than the first one.
24. Make sure that at least one band member...
25. ...has been previously arrested...
26. ...drinks beer...
27. ...or smokes marijuana.
28. During interviews deny any form of drug-use in your band.
29. Say you hate Limp Bizkit, then contradict your statement
by sticking up for bands like Taproot, Drowning Pool, and Primer
55.
30. When describing bands which you think are good, end every
statement with "kicks ass".
31. When describing bands you hate, end every statement with
either "sucks dick", or "@#%$ sucks ass".
32. Pretend that you've been abused as a child and when no one
believes you, hold...
32. ...your depressing song lyrics as evidence, and if that doesn't
work...
33. ...donate 3% of your earnings to anti-child abuse foundations.
34. Your record label must be either one of the following (and
there subsidiaries): Sony, Interscope, Warner, Geffen, Virgin,
Roadrunner, and Island/Def Jam.
35. Wear baseball caps, shades, wallet-chains, or any other fancy-schmancy
fashion accessory EVERYTIME.
36. Your pants must be 3 times larger than your original waist
length.
37. Say "shaznit".
38. Say "tight as @#%$" whenever possible.
39. Pretend that you hate MTV, and say that you detest the playing
of your videos without your consent -- but deep down inside you
really like the way they promote your music.
40. When meeting up with Kurt Loder and Carson Daly, be sure
to meet up with Fred Durst to ask for pointers.
41. Always give credit to Korn and say they brought back "metal"
from the dead.
42. Make sure you have at least one female member.
43. Be at every single "Ozzfest" tour.
44. Your t-shirts must be plain black with your logo in front
and a teen-angst quote in the back.
45. Pretend that you design your own website.
46. Get Ross Robinson, GGGarth, or Brendan O' Brien to produce
your record.
47. Always make sure that you delay your album release. If it's
scheduled for June 5, move it to July 7. Do this at least twice
per album.
48. Ask guest rappers or any member from another nu-metal band
to participate on your album.
49. Always whine.
50. Close your eyes when singing to show how "depressed"
you are -- ie. Staind
51. Body piercings are a must.
52. Make sure that you have at least one band member that's bald...
53. ...or have a goatee.
54. Pretend that you hate the world.
55. During live shows, make sure that you dive to the crowd and
ask them to return you back.
56. Your pants must be low-waist, and must show your boxers underneath
when you lift your shirt.
57. Your drummer must be topless during live concerts.
58. Bite the microphone when singing.
59. Swing the microphone stand while headbanging in unison.
60. Always suck up to the crowd during a live performance --
ie. "its a good day to be here in Los-@#%$-Angeles!"
61. Insert the word "@#%$" in the middle of two words
-- ie. "I like coco-@#%$-nut"
62. Zildijan must be your official cymbals.
63. Your guitars must be Ibanez or Fender. Accept no substitutes.
64. Always use seven-string guitars.
65. The more stomp boxes and pedals you have, the bigger the
chances of you winning a "Best Guitar Player" award.
So get to it!
66. Wear facepaints or masks, and when someone labels you a Slipknot
rip-off say that you existed as early as 1977.
67. When someone asks how your next album is going to turn out,
say that its going to be the "heavy-@#%$-iest album of all
@#%$ time".
68. Read #67 but add more of the word "@#%$" as much
as possible for emphasis.
69. Make sure that when it comes out, it doesn't sound as heavy
as you said it would be.
70. Your song lyrics must have the word "@#%$" on at
least 3 songs. This rule only applies to pretentious "tough-as-nails"
bands.
71. Pick fights with random bands to show how "bad-ass"
you are.
72. If you intend to copy someone else's sound -- don't use any
form of profanity whatsoever when writing song lyrics, so the
attention of the critiques will be focused on the lyrical content
instead of your music. For more information, ask Linkin Park
because they are considered as the "masters" of this
art.
73. When kids start calling your band "sell-outs",
reply that if they were on your position they'd do the same thing
as well.
74. When kids start calling you a copycat, say that the band
you're being compared to is one of your musical influences or....
75. ...its just a coincidence.
76. Make fun of gay people at all times. This is a perfect way
to hide the fact that you're a closet gay.
77. When your parents tells you to go to your room -- go to your
room.
78. You must have a studio album out every year. If you can't
pull a studio album in just a year, an album with demos and remixes
of old songs will do.
79. Make sure that you get into a scuffle with security on every
single concert you partake in to cause a "scene".
80. Wash your sneakers only 4 times a year.
81. Wear clothes from a particular clothing company -- and soon
they will ask you to endorse their wardrobe. Perfect choices
are Adidas and Puma.
82. Release a video that contains nothing but backstage footage
of your band making asses out of themselves.
83. During live shows say that you're about to perform a song
they already know. Utter the first word of the song title then
ask the fans to complete the name of the song by pointing the
mic towards them. Keep on doing it until they scream the title
crystal clear, or if you've wasted 5 minutes just getting them
to complete the task.
84. Your fanbase must comprise of 90% morons that have usernames
on the internet patterned after your band (ie. Mudvayne fans
- DeathBloomsDig99) and the last 10% with smart guys that use
original names.
85. Your band name must be a mispelling of an original word.
86. When parents start blaming your band for having songs that
incite violence, turn the blame back on them by saying "you
never spent time enough with your kids".
87. When someone points out the similarities of your music with
another band which rose to popularity just recently, pretend
that you've never heard of them before.
88. Cancel at least 5 of the tour dates you intend to play in
the near future.
89. Claim that the posturings of anger and depression in your
songs are genuine.
90. Insist that your band is "metal" at all times.
91. Best Buy and Hot Topic must be your core album distributors.
92. Say that you're going to commit suicide whenever no one pays
attention to you.
93. Your idea of being unique is donning black and white facepaint
and acting like a depressed troll in your bedroom.
94. Pretend that you like Kittie's music but in reality you just
want to score on at least one member.
95. Say that rule #94 is a lie! Then stomp your foot on the ground
repeatedly while screaming "that's not true! that's not
true!" over and over again.
96. Your first radio single must have clean vocals or at least
melodic riffing.
97. Waste your time writing a song dedicated to taking potshots
at the critiques and the people that make fun of your otherwise
STUPID music.
98. If you are a new band, cover an old 80s song and make it
as catchy as you can. Ship this song as your first radio single
-- instant success!
99. Participate in as many compilation albums as you can.
100. Strictly no guitar solos.
101. You are offended personally by every single rule written
above.
Addition: 11 June'02 / Author: Unknown
131 Ways To Tell You're A Mallcore Kid
Submitted by a visitor to this site
Baby Blues: I swear the fans are getting younger!
1. Your hair is dyed a color that doesn't appear naturally
in humans, and you think tattoos and piercings are "sexy."
2. "Rip," "Suck," and "Rule" are
the best descriptions you can come up with for music.
3. You think ICP is funny.
4. You think Korn is a metal band.
5. When you write or type words, you do it LiKe ThIs because
you think it looks ReAlLy kEwL.
6. You think "Eighties Metal" refers to Motley Crue,
Bon Jovi, and Poison.
7. You call yourself a metal fan, but when someone mentions Tom
G.Warrior you just get a confused look on your face.
8. You're white, yet you wear really baggy clothes and try to
come off as being hardcore.
10. You call people "fags" and "pieces of muthafuckin'
shit."
11. You assume that if someone doesn't like Slipknot, they must
listen to "pussy stuff like N'sync".
12. You claim to like heavy metal, yet can't name any German
thrash bands.
13. You call things "the shit."
14. You own a Dr. Suess hat.
15. You think "goth" means Marilyn Manson.
16. You associate "industrial" with Prodigy instead
of Skinny Puppy and Foetus.
17. You have a tribal tattoo.
18. You'd just die if Jonathan Davis touched you!
19. You think black metal bands are trying to copy KISS with
their image.
20. You say things like, "Korn rulz and always will! If
u dun like them you sux!"
21. You're under 20 years old and claim to like "extreme
music."
22. You think the cops probably want to steal your pot.
23. Your music collection consists of less than 100 items. Most
or all of these names appear in your collection: Korn, Taproot,
Limp Bizkit, Fear Factory, Machine Head, Coal Chamber, System
Of A Down, Downset, Soulfly, Pantera, Mudvayne, and Static-X.
24. You say some rap is good.
25. You love Incubus and don't know that there was once a Florida
thrash metal band by the same name.
27. You're a 17 year old female and wear crop tops under your
open ski jacket in January to show off your navel piercing. Flabby
abdominal muscles do not seem to deter you, either.
28. You know who Wayne Static is and think his hair is kEwL.
29. You think Korn "revitalized heavy metal", even
though the band themselves want to be disassociated with the
genre.
30. You don't realize that Rob Flynn disgraces his past in Vio-lence
with every passing moment he spends in Machine Head.
31. You have covered the back of your car in stickers, including
at least one anarchy symbol, and one alien.
32. You think death metal is Satanic.
33. You think that by dressing, looking and talking like every
other Mallcore simpleton that you're showing your individuality
and expressing your uniqueness.
34. You think Fear Factory keeps getting better on every album.
35. You don't realize that Pantera ripped off Exhorder after
deciding to cease and desist with glam.
36. You think that Metallica is good for a bunch of old geezers
and Reload rocks!!
37. You consider the black album "old Metallica".
38. You think that Roadrunner is an underground label.
39. Best Buy meets all of your music needs.
40. You think you're on the cutting edge of music after seeing
such "obscure" bands as Mushroomhead, Taproot, and
Drowning Pool.
41. You learned your ebonics from Hatebreed.
42. You never experienced the torture of "Headbangers' Ball"
- sitting through 2 hours and 50 minutes of White Lion, Extreme,
Enuff Z Nuff and Poison to see a Kreator video.
43. You think Kid Rock is the first person to combine rap with
"heavy" guitars.
44. You actually like Staind. Enough to buy it on CD. Enough
to see them live. Enough to wear one of their shirts in public.
45. You say you hate the government yet can't name more than
five people who actually work in the government, and one of those
people is your aunt Irene that works at the DMV.
46. You don't find this rant amusing in the slightest.
47. You think your backpack goes nicely with your backwards baseball
cap.
48. You think that the pictures of Coal Chamber are not at all
silly, goofy, ugly, or stupid. In fact, you think at least one
of the band members is really hot - even in these clothes. In
fact, you dress like this every day and your parents and/or teachers
give you a lot of grief about it.
49. You say things like "Korn are heavier than Iron Maiden
or Judas Priest EVER were".
50. You're constantly in danger of tripping over your wallet
chain.
51. You shave your eyebrows to look like that fag from Orgy.
52. You think Stormwitch, Anvil, Destruction and Blood Feast
are new games for N64.
53. You think Slipknot is "The heaviest fucking band on
earth, EVER. Nothing could top that, dude."
54. You think Linkin Park mosh pits are "violent."
55. Your parents hate your look but buy you your ridiculous clothes
anyway because your broke ass won't.
56. You actually go out and buy the bands played on Farmclub.com
57. You think a band kicks ass if the guitarist performs a BMX
Tabletop while he's playing that constant over-distorted open
sludge note on it.
58. You look like Fred Durst.
59. You wear a red baseball cap that's somewhat furry.
60. You look like Eminem and actually think he's kEwL.
61. You know every lyric to all of Eminem's albums.
62. Before the Black Album got huge, you called Metallica "worship-Satan,
kill-your-mother, rape-your-sister shit."
63. Hot Topic, Aeropostale and Gadzooks meet all of your clothing
needs.
64. You actually think Kid Rock is worth your spending money
on.
65. When somebody mentions metal, you think Papa Roach instead
of Motorhead.
66. You've heard real metal and you don't like it.
67. You refuse to acknowledge the fact that Slipknot's masks
are just gimmicks.
68. You think Limp Bizkit and Crazy Town are "tight."
69. You call death metal boring but you've never actually listened
to a death metal band.
70. You get confused in the metal chatroom as to why most people
there are "dissing" your favorite band.
71. You've sent hatemail to webmasters of anti-mall metal sites(with
bad grammar and obscene language, of course).
72. You dress in a gothic way, listen to stuff such as Marilyn
Manson and Korn but have the nerve to call yourself a non-conformist.
73. You fancy yourself as a non-conformist rebel but shrink back
in fear everytime your math teacher tells you to "knock
it off!"
74. Every time a new mallcore band pops up, you are usually one
of the first to buy their CDs at FYE, in the mall.
75. You claim you don't like boy bands or rappers but you hang
around with most of their fans.
76. You think the singer from Mudvayne is really hot.
77. When somebody mentions Slayer you think God Hates Us All.
78. You say the first Coal Chamber album doesn't sound like Korn.
79. You get confused when somebody says the singer from Tristania
is better than the singer from Kittie.
80. You say Hot Topic isn't a trendy store.
81. Your hair is more colors than a hippie's shirt.
82. Your idea of Death Metal is Fear Factory.
83. Your screenname has more X's than ever thought imaginable
in a 16-letter space.
84. You actually smoke pot on April 20th.
85. You think Cannibal Corpse started "death metal."
86. Your closet is full of Jncos and Korn/Slipknot/Mudvayne shirts,
all with bleach stains and holes and fringed ends.
87. Your idea of a heavy guitar sound is an Ibanez RG7 tuned
to Z flat.
88. You don't know what happened to Danzig after The Misfits.
89. You use your index, pinky AND thumb when making the metal
salute.
90. Your idea of underground is Spineshank.
91. The more dented, scratched, stickered up and destroyed your
guitar is, the better it is.
92. You think that by rebelling against your parents you're actually
accomplishing something.
93. You've hit a "gravity bong."
94. You think of Cold as being emotional.
95. You consider yourself a black metal fan because you recently
found out about Phil Anselmo's side project "Viking Crown."
96. You think Cradle Of Filth is black metal.
97. You deny that Slipknot and Korn are mainstream, yet they
are constantly aired on MTV and widely available in malls.
98. You really think Marilyn Manson mames animals on stage.
99. All of your friends look exactly like you with slight differences
like whether the lip piercing is on the left or right.
100. Your idea of a diverse musical taste is Blink 182.
101. You own a skateboard.
102. You think Slipknot's drummer is good because he can play
double bass.
103. You worship Slipknot but don't know who Anal Blast are.
104. You think every band Metal Edge Magazine mentions is metal.
Not to mention go by what bands label themselves, no matter how
false it is.
105. You play a 7-string guitar and seriously think Korn invented
them.
106. You don't know that Korn ripped off a Morbid Angel song.
The breakdown of Morbid Angel's "Angel Of Disease"
sounds exactly like Ball Tongue. (Angel Of Disease-1993, Ball
Tongue-1994)
107. You say "y'all."
108. You think Tool is talented because they sound different
from other mallcore bands.
109. Whenever your parents or other adults are around, you cough
to hide the obscenities when you have a Korn CD on.
110. You think no one listens to Eighties Metal anymore and if
they do, they're at least fourty years old.
111. You think Chris Barnes has the "deepest voice."
112. Your parents make you go to church and you think you're
evil and blasphemic by wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt when you
go with them.
113. The first time you ever heard Morbid Angel was when you
saw them with Pantera and Kittie.
114. When someone mentions grind, all you can think of is Anal
Cunt.
115. You think real metallers have never outsmarted a mallcore
nerd and foolishly try to fight them.
116. You think people who don't like mallcore don't listen to
it because they can't understand it.
117. You think people who don't like mallcore can't take "hard
music."
118. You think Deicide is the most Satanic band in the world.
119. You think Corey Taylor is "da best fuckin' metal singer
EVER."
120. You think Slayer are the godfathers of "death metal."
121. When someone mentions Hellhammer, you think of the drummer
of Kovenant.
122. Your only use for vinyl records is as a frisbee.
123. You like Primus, but don't know who Possessed were.
124. You would cream yourself if Ozzy autographed your copy of
the Reunion CD.
125. You say anything you don't listen to must suck.
126. You think Ozzy is the godfather of all metal.
127. You think Brave New World is the best Maiden album.
128. You think "666" is a Satanic symbol.
129. You obstinately deny the influence of rap in mallcore even
though many of them claim rap influence.
130. You've never heard 80s Sepultura.
131. Last, but not least the first time you hear of Meshuggah
is when they play Ozzfest this summer.
Response from Slipknot
I cannot confirm whether or not the following e-mail
was actually sent by the band addressing this guide and all the
negative comments in "Feedback"
section, but it's highly
unlikely.
I will certainly have to admit that a lot of you have some
(sic) assed opinions about some crazy bands.
1. Anyone who ridicules a band by using an incorrect word
(IE: slipknot fukkin sux) is incredibly ignorant and should seriously
look up on getting a higher education.
2. Anyone who ridicules a band and doesn't have a thing to
back their shit up (real facts and opinions), then you seriously
need to read my recommended advise on #1!!
3. SOAD do not have lyrics in which over half of them are
"ginuwinely" (correct spelling would be GENUINELY)
non-sense. I respect SOAD mostly for their anti-war thinking!
GOOD FOR THEM!
4. Knocking Slipknot, eh? Wow! That's a tough one! I didn't
know it was even possible. Slipknot is one of those rare popular
bands out there who actually have original sounds, looks, lyircs,
attitudes, and they plain just don't give a shit who judges them,
to be quite honest.I LOVE Slipknot for what/who they are! You
need to recognize that knocking a band is NOT going to make them
disappear, but it will piss you off in the end b/c all you are
doing is wasting your pitiful a pathetic breath on your opinion
which in no way is relevant to anything about a band. It is of
non-importance, and your opinion shall stay that way.
5. Joey "1" Jordison - Slipkot's (sic) and excellent
drummer. Who the hell said Joey has no talent, speed, or rythm?
I would like to meet you and slap you with the harsh and cruel
terms of reality! Wake up, my friend. Joey will never ever be
beaten by ANY drummer in ANY band! EVER! My dad (you know how
parents are) absolutely despises the music I listen to! I don't
understand it, but, hey. . . I accept it. HOWEVER, he has told
me - my dad is a drummer himself - that he has never seen a better
drummer, or faster, than Joey 1" Jordison. This is coming
from a guy who doesn't even like the band. I do reckon that is
saying a lot!
5. For those of you who can defend your favorite band, and
do it constructively and maturely without any name calling or
mud-slinging, I respect you to the nth degree! It is more interesting
to hear someone who may not like Slipknot, but explains in their
own opinions why in a calm and collective way, than hearing someone
say "nu-metal sux ass, and slipknot fukkin sux too"!
6. To the dude that made this "humor" section of
the website. Bro, I am telling this to you as a friend to friend
situation. In no way do I intend to criticise you in any way.
This site was funny for about the first three paragraphs, then
it went too far and it did get offensive. I found it quite offensive,
but I am not having a conniption fit over it like most people
would. I realize that you have warned us in advance to viewing
the site that it was to be taken "in light of", but
a lot of true fans are not going to sit there and laugh at the
list, when it may pertain in a negative perception to their band.
It just isn't funny, and I am just advising you to take a second
thought on keeping this part of the site up. However, it's your
choice.
I end with the note that I wish all my fellow maggots stay
(sic), and may the 'Knot be your influence at all times!
Understand this:
This has never been a popularity contest. The people we care
for and work with know who they are and how we feel about them.
Slipknot has never been into name-dropping. So, we dedicate this
album to the ones that matter the most, our crazy fans and maggots
all over the world. Stay (sic), fuckers!
- Slipknot (Iowa)
Addition: 08 July'02 / Author: Slipknot /
address not given
2nd response
from Slipknot
The Nu-Metal Guide received a second e-mail allegedly
from the band Slipknot, this time from singer Corey Taylor. I'm
sure Corey Taylor has better things to do than visit this little
webpage...
To whom it may concern....
Hello, whats up, I really don't know you guys but believe it
or not you know us, My name is Corey Taylor. This website has
come to my attention when Sid told me about it, Which by the
way, him and I think you guys are doing a great job, but there
is one thing we hate that you did, you mentioned another bands
name while talking about us. WE really would appreciate it if
you guys are gong to make a site on us, do it without mentioning
another bands name similar to us. Well, thank you for all the
funny shit you guys made up, and which to let you guys know,
we are totally focused on slipknot now, not our side bands. Keep
in touch with our official website, and we might give a shout
out to this one on our site. By the way thank you for letting
me kill Fred durst, I like it a lot. Well, I have to go, make
sure that you guys make progress with this site, and well be
happy to visit soon.
Stay (sic) Fuckers - Corey Taylor (8)
Hey! Hey! The Nu-Metal Guide received a third e-mail
allegedly from the band Slipknot, this time from Sid Wilson.
Once again, there is no proof if Mr Wilson actually sent the
following email. At least this time the mysterious person checked
that I was NOT American, sticking to the same tired English stereotype.
NU-METAL: WHOM MADE YOU THE FUCKING JUDGE?
I think you have way to much time on your hands to talk shit
about Slipknot.... By the way make sure you read my tattoos on
my hands the next time you come to our shows.....You are a fucking
MORAN!
P.S. I could say the same thing about British people how I think
they all look like a bunch of fucking pasty faces, steak &
kidney pie eating, weekend football brawling, drunkin morans
with a fucked up voices MATE or shall I say BLOKE or BLOODY WELL
PISSED OUT OF MY MIND MATE. The truth is your some nobody that
can only write articles to piss off 14-17 yr old kids. I guess
you are a man now.
Sid Wilson
Addition: 06 Aug 04 / Author: Slipknot / address
disclosed
The
Formula for Linkin Park exposed
I don't normally put external reviews up, but this
Linkin Park piece from Playlouder.com neatly exposes the Nu-Metal
formula. Like a BigMac, it sure tastes good at the time, but
you are soon left unfulfilled.
Linkin Park - Meteora (Warner
Bros.) 2 Stars
Hit songwriting is formulaic, and it's been that way since
rock and roll first existed. Lennon and McCartney worked out
a neat trick that everyone copied in the 60s. Motown too knew
what ingredients a tune had to have for it to be a hit. Stock,
Aitken and Waterman followed this formula, condensed it, sanitised
it, and became arguably the defining sound of the 1980s. And
Linkin Park know what makes a good nu-metal song, because they've
executed the same system on practically every track on 'Meteora'.
So here's the blueprint: start with a nice modern processed
drumbeat for 8 bars (16 optional), then come in with big, fizzing,
power chords. Take the guitars down a notch and allow your mate
to rap in a fairly unimaginative fashion. This is all part of
the plan. The slightly drab verse builds up and before you know
it you're upping the stakes, pulling out the stops, and hitting
the kids with the huge angsty chorus, instruments thrashing wildly,
vocals wailing, and the tune with a hook as dangerous as Abu
Hamza trying to make his way to the bathroom during a powercut.
The lyrical content has to be about the pain you feel, about
being misunderstood, about how you can't change, or about how
you want that herpes-ridden bitch you used to go out with to
just, like, totally fuck off, man. Maybe your mates can shout
behind you a bit here, to give your anger more authenticity.
This whole process should then be repeated, and followed by a
bridge that's a bit shouty. Then repeat chorus until only the
most stupid of fans won't be able to recite it back like it's
'Baa Baa Black Sheep'.
'Hit The Floor' is the most ferocious track on the album,
but follows the same rules. "Easier to Run", the track
that proceeds it is the most sissy, but follows the same rules.
Many of the choruses are great, but by about track eight you
begin to realise this isn't about songs, this is about mathematics,
and if you've actually paid for the album with your own money,
you've been well and truly had.
Linkin Park were one of the best selling bands in the world
a few years back, and with the threat of Avril Lavigne looming
large, there has to be a scientific way of squeezing every last
penny out the disenfranchised teenager market. On the CD there's
an enhanced package which includes a feature called "The
Art of Meteora". Physics more like.
Jeres - reviewed on 26.mar.03
Feedback
It appears people have strong
opinions about the "Nu-Metal Guide". When I first put
this guide on the web back in 2001, no-one took much notice for
many months, but then all of a sudden I started receiving e-mails
from people either amused / deeped offended about the content.
To date, I've received so many responses to the Guide in the
past 2 years that the Feedback Archive is now HUGE spreading over two very, very long
pages. I promise you will find some gems amongst the countless
opinions.
Because it's obvious Nu-Metal as
a genre is reaching the end of it's shelf life, I suppose this
Guide has become less relevant as time goes by. But I still receive
many responses, so I'll keep posting them. I've also noticed
several Message Boards have linked to this page and countless
websites giving links - so it just goes to show how strongly
people feel about this particular genre.
"If I owned that site and received hate mail from
Slipknot, I would know that my dream in life has been accomplished"
- forum member cKyIsYourFuture on http://www.ckyalliance.com/forum
Feedback
Ryan Tait <fytin.irish@yahoo.com> - 06-Feb'07: I'm
a listener to NuMetal... and i found the things that you said
in your lists HILARIOUS because i know people and hate people
just like them... I like all forms of metal music.. and have
grown up that way.. i jus prefer "nu" metal (and trust
me.. not ALL of it... Kid Rock? Slipknot? LINKIN PARK?!) i jus
happened to stumble on the sight and found it humorous and right
on on many points.. and no way offensive (i think i've done like
2 things on your whole list)... good stuff.. thuroughly(sp?)
enjoyed it!!
Peace -The R
Andy Burgess <anburges@telus.net> - 03-Feb'07: ok
i dont realy like to be bashed for my shity spelling its not
my fault so please pardon my crapy grammar i respect al lof your
opinions very much i myslef like most metal bands and i cant
seem to figure out why people will get so up in arms about it
al lthey want to do is bitch a whine about how awesome there
favorite band is and insult and insisst how shity somebody elses
band is i just cant seem to wrap my mind around it i my eyes
its all just music with diffirent and not so diffirent sounds
that i spend time to enjoy bands like slipknot and korn are among
my favorites but that dosent mean i try to act like them hell
i dont even think they look cool but i like there music and thats
all that realy matters right?
devildriver anyone?
Andy Page <the_pagey@yahoo.co.uk> - 25-Jan'07: OK!
So I'm happy that you don't like nu-metal. It's your choice to
like or dislike or fucking hate whatever you want. But why knock
the kids who like it? OK, maybe they should go and listen to
some decent metal, doesn't matter if it's old school or new stuff
but let them make the choice.
My opinion on this whole nu-metal, real metal, old-school
metal debate is it doesn't matter if Joey Jordison is the best
fucking drummer in the world (sorry, he isn't, he's right up
there but not the best) or if Munkey from Korn can play his guitar
as well as Kirk Hammett or even if the band plays tuned down
7 strings or regular 6 string guitars. It doesn't fucking matter!!
What matters here is can the band produce good songs and are
they pushing the boundaries of metal? Good song examples? Blind
by Korn, Surfacing by Slipknot, Old by Machine Head, Cleansation
by Chimaira. Even My Generation by Limp Bizkit!! Yeah, Fred Durst
is a twat but the song is pretty damn good!
As for pushing the boundaries of metal music... thank fuck there
are bands who want to sound different because otherwise we would
all still be listening to Led Zepplin and Black Sabbath soundalikes.
When Metallica first released Kill 'Em All, people said it was
shit, look at them now, when Van Halen started out, how many
people dismissed them? Fucking loads! Without new metal we would
only have dead metal. If it's really as shite as you think, nu-metal
will die off but the few bands who were any good, Korn has to
be the obvious example here, have kept going and are addapting
their sound, but as long as they keep creating new music and
being non-conformists I'll keep buying it as well as all the
regular metal.
So back to the Slipknot hoodied kids for a second. Its your choice
to hate their music, maybe it's their choice to hate yours, or
maybe they like your stuff too. If they do, it makes them better
people than you because they are willing to like more than one
style of metal.
Metal has always had problems in being mainstream but now we
have metal fans knocking metal music! How fucked up are you?
Pagey
"felipe montealegre" <felipe_morado@hotmail.com>
- 18-Jan'07: hahahahahhahaha fucking hilarious. yeah, im
15 years old and i used to like slipknot and think joey jordison
was the best drummer and shit like that...until i discovered
metal. although i never got to know kittie nor kid rock, i was
not interested.
youre mostly right about everything in the nu metal guide page.
hahahaha if the responses from slipknot are actually real tell
them to LEARN TO PLAY!
goddam fools, you kept me distracted awhile
Michael Holz <m.holze@gmx.net> - 06-Jan'07: hi,
nu metal haters - my name is andi and i?m from germany, so sorry
if there some wrong written words in my mail.
i know that many people are unlike to nu-metal ( it?s a stupid
word i think). first, nu-metal simply means "new",
i guess led zepplin were great and bands like motörhead,
black sabbath, the doors, jimmy hendrix and many other bands
too, but those times were over. in the end the fans and the people
buying records, that keeps bands alive. people thought theyre
music could change something. i like korn, but i also like bands
like dredg, dead soul tribe, rammstein, incubus or deep purple.
i realy hate the mainstream, but it?s not on the bands to make
it, it just happens you know. another thing are 7-string guitars.
i know that the first ones were used in jazz a long time before
korn or deftones. the fact is that most metal bands are playing
theyre guitars downtuned, that?s just the way it goes. metal
needs to sound brutal and deep, so the 7-string is just ideal
for that, band like meshuggah started playing 8-string guitars.
the cure played bariton guitars, but it doesn?t matter. i really
think that music can change the world, but outside the mainstream
this won?t be possible. another thing to staind: in music you
have to make a decission about the themes you want to write about.
in metl it?s mostly sadness and anger. i know that some people
are not really into what staind is writing about, because they
think it?s not hard enough. many americans are listen to rammstein,
but i?m sure the most don?t know what they are singing about.
at least, nu-metal, metalcore, speed metal, trash metal, black
metal, goth metal, emocore, dark metal, synth rock... man, it?s
all music, it?s all metal and it?s just the evolution of rock.
but i agree with the fact that we all shoud not forget about
the roots, because we?re all addictes to rock music, whatever
you will call it.
peace, andi.
SaMaeL1981@aol.com - 04-Jan'07: I just want to say
that I think your Nu Metal guide is hysterical. Young mallrat
pukes I know rant and rave about how "kEwL" that garbage
is. Why the hell do people think is so good about System of a
Downes' Syndrome's drummer? My girlfriend was playing them in
her car once and told me that their drummer was incredible. I
said, "those are drums? I thought you just left your blinker
on."
If in fact the replies you have gotten from Slipknot are genuine,
you should reply with a gift certificate for free music lessons
so they might actually learn how to play their instruments.
When people ask me what I listen too, I don't say metal. I say
real metal. When they ask what the hell real metal is, I reply:
Iced Earth, Dream Theater, Hammerfall, Queensryche, Judas Priest,
etc. Most of the time they look confused because they've never
heard of any of those except priest. Unless a band plays at Ass
Feast (aka Ozfest) every year it simply isn't "kEwL."
*sigh*
Keep up the great work and keep getting the word out.
Sam Levin
Hudson, NH
"Matt Speed" <dreamlineii@gmail.com> 11-Dec'06:
hahaha, i thought it was hilarious - great job dude!
i was cracking up so much as i was reading. it must be hilarious
and amusing for you to see all the dumb ass, shitty kids who
jock the nu-metal garbage and follow half those stereotypes come
here and get all pissy and moan and bitch about it. however,
on the thing about how to tell kids are mallcore and all that,
i thought it was pretty offensive to lump pantera in with all
those terrible bands. i
mean, don't get me wrong, i know this is probably just a place
you designed to make fun of all the stupid kids who take all
slipknot and all those bands too seriously or something along
those lines. well, i don't know what your exact motivations are
but the fact is, pantera is being thrown into the mix of that
garbage a bit too much and quite
frankly, as a REAL metalhead, i won't stand for it, even if it
is a joke. i mean, i thought the thing about Chris Barnes having
the deepest voice ever was funny considering he is among the
top deepest in metal if you give it some thought (though that
doesn't make up for the fact that his marijuana induced vocals
are really gay) and deicide is actually pretty damn satanic.
but my point is, i would think it would be a good idea to leave
out pantera or bands like them that are thrown into it because
it's just a huge injustice and throws off the balance of the
humour. even if it is true or if it is just for laughs, the fact
is, it is happening and i just can't stand it, these kids are
ruining some of my favorite bands and i will go nuts if i see
them be justified to be with eachother again. so to avoid insulting
the community of real metalheads like yourself (which i'm guessing
you are) i would try just sticking to the crap and leave out
the good bands. thanks
"Liam Spencer" <liam1987@bigpond.com> 11-Dec'06:
Hey there, First of all I'd like to say that I had the best
laugh when I visited the site. There's alot of stuff in there
that is so true. Kids these days don't give two shits about older
music, I can't name one kid who knows any Metallica album before
the black album. Nobody has heard And justice for all, and NOBODY
would have a clue what album "motorbreath" was on.
I'm a 19 year old from Australia who has the highest of respect
for older music (not necessarily metal), what about the Beatles
for fuck sake, Elvis Presley, Jesus Christ!. Motorhead aswell,
now that's a good band. It's like as soon as Nirvana came out;
everything became "new". It really gives me the shits.
As for slipknot, I think that they would have to be the biggest
bunch of untalented fuckwits, who really thinks that wearing
stupid masks and bashing fucking beer kegs is musical? I can
get drunk and do that at home. And what's the go with the screaming
bullshit, everyone says the lyrics mean something, but they have
to read the booklets to even understand the shit.
As for Korn, personally I like their music, it really is different.
But the fact is they're not really that talented. The guitars
are cool but it isn't that hard to do. I played a 7 string and
learnt 2 Korn albums from start to finish in 2 days. Compare
that with learning the Metallica Master of puppets album, I still
cant play alot of the stuff there. You know if a bands got talent
when 90% of musicians cant play their shit.
What happened to the kids that enjoy real talent, kids that
still go to school and college and can still enjoy music without
being fuckwits. The kind of kids that kill themselves because
they feel pain just like Linkin Park or Korn. Talk to your parents
man, music is not a real way of getting that shit out. Don't
off yourself because you cant deal with shit, seek help; Jesus
fucking read the bible or something. Untalented musicians certainly
isn't gonna help you.
Don't start smoking pot or snorting lines because Marilyn
Manson secretly "tells" you to. And to whoever that
cockhead was that paid out the British, grow a dick, maybe even
go to England. They aren't the ones listening to shit music and
rebelling because Corey Taylor screams like an insane hyena doped
up on crystal meth. Anyway I could go on all day. Thumbs up to
all the people that can appreciate REAL talent, don't be afraid
to go to a record store and buy some "old" music. You'll
be surprised how back then talent sold you records, not how many
people you have in your band (slipknot) not how you can downtune
your guitars and pretend you were raped (Korn) not how ridiculously
big your pants are (limp Shitkit) not how stupid your hair is
(static X) not how shit you are at guitar (mudvayne).
-What happened to bands that actually could play good music.
You never know; maybe bands like this may come back.
Revive the Talent.
"LiZ J0HNS0N<3" <WOOHOO23@NYCAP.RR.COM>
- 27-Oct'06: heyy, your site makes me laugh, although i have
to disagree with some things you mentioned. i sympathize with
you on how annoying mallcore kids are, but that shouldn't take
away from nu-metal as a genre. i understand that most nu-metal
bands act ridiculously and usually include a gimick, but nu-metal
as a whole isn't that bad. as for the bands you picked out, and
some i added myself, here are my thoughts:
slipknot; their look is nonsensical, but they do have
good songs. personally, i think that the lyrics to "duality"
are great. whether they are truly heartfelt or not, they're good. disturbed; they're alright, but the lead singer makes
that noise too much. the "wa-ah-ah-ow", you know what
i mean? pantera; one thing that was confusing to me is how you
think that mallcore kids listen to pantera. if you're associating
them with nu-metal, i'm offended. not that i'm bashing nu-metal,
it's just that pantera and slipknot are far from similar. linkin park; well to be honest i'm not much of a fan,
"in the end" and "by myself" are probably
the only good songs they've had. so i'll side with you on them
being shitty. korn; i do happen to like their music a lot, although
i do have to say that the people themselves are dicks. i recently
saw them in concert and i met fieldy (bass player) and he was
such a douche. as for the rest of them, fucking divas. i was
supposed to meet all of them but they didn't show up because
"they were busy". p.o.d.; talk about one hit wonder. after "boom"
and "youth of the nation" they just bombed. limp bizkit; absolute shit. diss them all you'd like,
i for one won't get offended. system of a down; they are not nu-metal. i've gotten in
many fights over what genre they are, and there is no doubt in
my mind that they are "alternative metal". they have
too many guitar solos to be considered nu-metal. i'm a big fan
of them and i'll admit, their last two albums sucked, royally.
that doesn't mean that they're gone forever, or have died out.
they're currently in hiatus for making their next album, and
we can only hope it's better than the last ones.
that's basically it. nu-metal in my eyes, please consider
that i'm quite diverse when it comes to music. according to my
music charts my top 50 most played artists have everything from
children of bodom to tom jones. anyways thank you for reading
and keep on rockin in a free world!
liz
"Monie Heuy" <chickie_monie@hotmail.com>
- 12-Oct'06: I found the first few paragraphs of your page
funny, but as I kept reading it became ridiculously offensive.
I am the bassist of a band, I am a chick. The drummer of our
band happens to be female so will NOT be performing topless,
no matter how much you beg. Our band is made of 3 chicks and
ONE guy, this is very unique and if any bands try to copy our
three-chick-one-dude originality we will be flattered that people
want to be like us.
Try not to offend anyone else, kind regards Heuy
gail wheatley <gailchiffon79@sbcglobal.net> - 06-Aug'06:
So everywhere across the nation, theres always some crazy
"nu-metal" controversy.Whos to say if there was not
, where would the metal revolution be headed. I beleive there
is salvation for down and dirty hardcore nu metal,(are you good
enough) only if these people can handle the truth. Im souly in
exasperation over metal music, the love of exploding your thoughts
onto others, experiencing the only true art...hardcore music
at its finest like: LIving Sacrifice,Lamb of god,Mushugga,Norma
jean,Coal Chamber,....the list is insane. Slipknot ,? although
people say they are nu-metal, there is much more respect to Slipknot
as a band that can introduce all that is the art of metal music
at its best!Now for others to try to follow,(slipknot sets the
example for nu-metal)Total intelligence, total insanity, consume
as much as you can you nu-metal wannabe". try to take control,........I
wanna hear more metal.
m.dalehayes@yahoo.com - 01-Aug'06: im in a nu metal
band but the thing is we do play seven strings in fact i have
a korn sig korn is not metal black sabbath is metal bands like
coal chamber and korn are a gener all there own and its impossible
to coppy there sound and Mushroomhead is the sickest band ever
andhey did not copy slipknot they came out before in 1990 but
slipknots pretty sick the fact is my band is not nu metal because
nu metal exested in the ninetys and no longer any thing made
after 1999 is just metal with fast lyrics korn is not the same
korn they wer in 1996 not even slipknot sounds the same as they
did when Iowa came out hell, coal chamber doesnt even exist any
more Dez has moved on to a black metal band DevilDriver and corry
taylors in stone sour
Michael -- myspace.com/dontbreaththeair
"Foote, Eric [OCDUS]" <EFoote@ocdus.jnj.com>
- 01-Aug'06: I do think it's fair to say that the vast majority
of mallcore kids are completely ignorant of real metal. It's
glaringly obvious whenever one of them uses the word "metal"
in place of "nu-metal," or think that "nu-metal"
is the same thing as "new metal." Or when they assume
that anyone who doesn't share there taste must be into softer
music (I've seen plenty of Slipknot fans trash detractors by
telling them to "keep listening to N'Sync"), completely
unaware that musical preference could go in the opposite direction.
In fact, I'd have to disagree with #32: a mallcore kid doesn't
think death metal is satanic, a mallcore kid thinks "death
metal" means Korn, Slipknot, and Marilyn Manson.
That being said, it's hard to argue with the point that people
like me should just shut up and let people listen to whatever
music they want, and on one hand I think that's a perfectly valid
argument...
...but you have no idea how incredibly irritating it is, seeing
and hearing people vigorously touting how much their favorite
run-of-the-mill mallcore act is "loud" and "agressive,"
referring to Korn as a "metal" band, etc. Try to imagine
if people everywhere were calling, say, Coldplay "the heaviest
band EVER" and "an awesome, kick-@$$ metal band"
and the like. Wouldn't you want to set them straight, even a
little? Now imagine that you and a small minority of the population
try to point out that Coldplay is, in fact, not a metal band,
nor are they heavy, and you get shouted down by expletives and
such creative rebuttals as "u sux." Maybe then you
might get a feel for the continued annoyance experienced by "real
metal" fans, as we watch Nile, Meshuggah and Between the
Buried and Me get relegated to obscurity while Rage Against the
Machine wins the Grammy for best "metal" performance.
Mike Walker <tmm7205@yahoo.com> - 17-Jul'06: First
of all, I'd like to say that I had some great laughs while reading
your guide. Nice work on that. Respect to you.
Then this caught my eye:
"102. You think Slipknot's drummer is good because he
can play double bass."
That is probably the most true thing I have read in a long
time. SO MANY PEOPLE think that, and I want to slice them for
their ignorance. So of course, it would make sense that anger
would follow when I read one of the readers' comments, as follows.
"5. Joey "1" Jordison - Slipkot's (sic) and
excellent drummer. Who the hell said Joey has no talent, speed,
or rythm? I would like to meet you and slap you with the harsh
and cruel terms of reality! Wake up, my friend. Joey will never
ever be beaten by ANY drummer in ANY band! EVER! My dad (you
know how parents are) absolutely despises the music I listen
to! I don't understand it, but, hey. . . I accept it. HOWEVER,
he has told me - my dad is a drummer himself - that he has never
seen a better drummer, or faster, than Joey 1" Jordison.
This is coming from a guy who doesn't even like the band. I do
reckon that is saying a lot!"
I highly doubt you will be able to provide what I want, but
is it in any way possible to give me this person's email? I would
surely love to inform him/her that I could name at least 100
drummers that are infinitely better than Joey from Slipknot.
(Neal Peart, Mike Portnoy, Virgil Donati, Steve Smith, etc.)
If not (and I suspect this to be the case), could you please
post my comment? Something like:
"To the person who was defending Joey from Slipknot:
Before you or your dad claim Joey Jordison to be the BEST DRUMMER,
maybe you should actually listen to some real drummers who don't
just use a double bass line and snare entirely out of rhythm
to the "song". Just to throw some names out there,
listen to Neal Peart (Rush), Mike Portnoy (Dream Theater), Virgil
Donati (Steve Vai), Steve Smith (Journey, Victor Wooten). Those
are just a few of the dozens of drummers I could name who are
infinitely better than Joey. Open your ears to some real music."
Thanks for whatever you do. (I'm just hoping you actually
get this email and read it).
"Mark Hodges" <bigmarkisback@hotmail.com>
- 15-July'06: Mallcore is indeed crappy music and thankfully
it is now on life support. Linkin Park have kept their mouths
shut for a good long while and I hope that it continues to be
that way. The new album from the Deftones has yet to come out.
Powerman 5000 and Spineshank have no contact with the world anymore.
Limp Bizkit, Element Eighty, Nonpoint, Taproot, Adema, Trapt,
and Ill Nino made new albums and no one cared. The original fanbases
of Papa Roach, Incubus and Staind abandoned them. Korn lost a
guitarist. Rob Zombie finally makes a new album but no one is
anticipating it. Flaw, 40 Below Summer, Unloco, Coal Chamber,
Slaves on Dope, Twisted Method and E. Town Concrete broke up
but only they know they quit. Motograter are on hiatus because
no one cared about them. Nothingface and Stuck Mojo reformed
but no one cares. No One, Darwin's Waiting Room, Primer 55, Blank
Theory, The Union Underground and Broughham made only one album
and went nowhere. Static-X had a pedophile for a guitarist (who
needs to remain in jell) and their fanbase is wavering. System
of a Down will also shut up for a while and so will Slipknot.
If the third response is actually from a member of Slipknot,
he needs to be slapped in the face with a brick. He obviously
does not realize most people in the U.S. descend from England
and were a big influence on the formation of metal. They had
the best bands of
the classic rock and metal era and they still have good bands
today (Paradise Lost and My Dying Bride to name two). If it weren't
for Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin, we wouldn't have metal. Though
I'm American, I don't think it is the greatest country in the
world. Why? We have rednecks, a large number of wiggers and quite
possibly the stupidest politicians known to man. I don't hate
America but I'm somewhat embarrassed to live among the three
legions of idiots mentioned above.
But mallcore's ripeness for parody is now used up and its
worth for debate is almost pointless. However, I hope people
will realize Fear Factory, Machine Head, Sepultura, Prong, Helmet
and Pantera should not be treated as mallcore on here. They existed
before mallcore did and all formed groove
metal which descends from thrash metal, not alternative rock.
They've produced classic albums which is something mallcore bands
can only dream about and refused trendiness. Ok, Machine Head
and Fear Factory added some rap influences but Anthrax and Slayer's
Kerry King meddled with rap before.MH and FF also kept their
trademarks instead of ditching them.What is now ripe for parody
is metalcore. It is now nu metal's succesor but despite how its
lovers consider it better, it is no less trendy. Sure, the musicians
are more talented but it is already forming cliches of its own.
All the kiddies today are trying to sound like bands from
Sweden by playing Iron Maiden and melodeath rip off riffs, relying
on squeaky clean production and shooting out breakdowns by the
spermload. There are still the chugging found in nu metal (which
was ripped off from groove metal and thrash) and some take emo
influences, another trendy genre. Many also carry visible proof
of untalent. The frontmen in Atreyu and God Forbid do the harsh
vocals but they leave the clean vocals to the drummer and other
members. That is a clear sign of no talent. If you were a talented
vocalist, you would do both instead of only doing one style.
Burton C. Bell (Fear Factory) and Robb Flynn (Machine Head) do
both growls and singing which is something these metalcore guys
need to take a lesson from. Hell, even mallcore singers could
do both growls and singing! That is so pathetic! Many of these
metalcore bands are not even metal at all. The one that is most
commonly mistaken for metal is the Dillinger Escape Plan. They
are only a hardcore band with jazz and noise influences with
very minor metal influences. Having only a few minor influences
from metal does not make them a metal band. The Dillinger are
pure dog shit as well. I also think it's sad that Shadows Fall,
Lamb of God, Chimaira and Mastodon sadly get placed in metalcore
when they are more metal than any of those bands. Shadows Fall
play more thrash riffs than Maiden rip off riffs, their song
arrangements are more interesting, their vocals aren't emo sounding
and they have long hair instead of emo or hardcore hair. Lamb
of God and Chimaira harken back to the good ol days of groove
metal but without ripping off the originators like Skinlab and
Pissing Razors did. Mastodon don't belong in the metalcore genre,
period.
There are harmonic riffs but they aren't Maiden rip off riffs,
the drumming is jazz influenced, their riffs crush, the vocals
are not whiny or wannabe tough guyish (Mastodon's vocalist actually
made me think of a gruff Neil Fallon), their lyrics aren't limited
to reality and there is way more old school metal influences
instead of emo or hardcore. Oh, and if the kiddies today think
what they listen to is "br00tal", try listening to
Napalm Death, Nile, Morbid Angel, Obituary, Vader, Kataklysm,
Bolt Thrower, Kreator, Corrosion of Conformity and Meshuggah
and see if you can take it.
GrnPlsgrt2@aol.com - 8 May'06: there are some good
bands just like with any music and yes i think icp is funny .
And i did think fear factory was getting better with every album
until they came out with transgression . BUT mushroomhead is
getting aleast alittle better dont u think with every album .
look at the crap mtv plays that rock blows its people like you
who are hurting some of these great bands by sending them hate
mail and making websites and telling newbies that watch mtv all
day and agree with what you say just because most of them dont
sell millions of albums or that there not number one on the charts
. and even if you listened to it and dont like it dont hate other
people that do like it .
Ozan Türkyilmaz <ozan.turkyilmaz@gmail.com>
- 16 Apr'06: i don't think there is any word that can descripe
how bad nu metal is ? thanks for making this web page. i really
liked it and keep hacking.
by the way i got a jason jazz bass for playing. it was cheap
but i works fine anyway.
